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Guilt: The one thing I know for sure that will help you

By amandaalexander | Childcare

Last week, I presented a webinar on working parent guilt for a corporate client. It’s a subject I know only too well…

Having been a mum for 14 years and having coached so many mums for almost the same length of time, my old mate Guilt pops in for a cuppa and a chat on a regular basis.

The last time Guilt made a social call at my house was a week last Monday. I remember the visit very well indeed. The boys and I had returned from a wonderful holiday in Spain the day before.

I thought I was organised for their first day back at school and up to a certain point, I was. I’d managed to unpack the suitcases, a small miracle as it usually takes me weeks. I’d laid out their uniforms the night before and I’d made their packed lunches.

So far so good. Then it all went wrong…

We couldn’t find Freddie’s school shoes anywhere. We went from on time for the first day back to slightly late. Freddie had to wear a pair of grey and green shoes – the closest thing he has to formal black school shoes. I shouted at Freddie.

But it got worse…

We drove down to school. As we turned into the school road, I saw a child with a suitcase. He was in non-uniform.

I’d forgotten – it was his residential visit.

I uttered several profanities:

“Fred – it’s your residential today. Oh no (insert profanities here).. I’d completely forgotten”

And then, in front of my poor little boy, I burst into tears. I felt like the worst mother IN THE WORLD. And it wasn’t as if this was the first time I’d forgotten it was a “special day”. I felt GUILTY. I cried tears of guilt and shame – you can’t get a more toxic combination of those kind of tears.

I drove back home and raced into the house with Fred, giving him panicked instructions to take his uniform off.

I called my friend Claire to ask her what I needed to pack for the residential:

“Amanda, calm down” she said. “The Residential is next week”

I looked in my diary.
So it was.

So I’d done a double cock up. I was convinced it was this Monday, had forgotten and then realised it had never been this Monday. Even more Guilt.

I felt guilty for:

  • Upsetting Freddie
  • Not being more organised
  • Making him late

and on and on it went. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

I asked friends who are parents “When was the last time you felt guilty as a parent?”

Rachel said,This morning as #2 daughter left for school and I realised I’d barely said 2 words to her, apart from the nagging to get dressed, brush teeth, hurry up etc.

Another Rachel said,I think the worst time in the last few months was just before Christmas when I got stuck on a train with no driver coming out of London (Southern rail contribute to many of my parenting fails) and I missed my youngest playing one of the lead roles in the school nativity. I was gutted.

Gill said,Yesterday when I was late for school meeting due to train arriving back from London 10 mins late making me 10 minutes late therefore enabling the parental failure button to be pressed.

As I started writing this, my dear friend Claire, who to me is the epitome of Wonderful Mum, has just messaged me to say she felt guilty for not having done something earlier about an issue one of her kids is facing. I could wax lyrical about what a wonderful, balanced, kind, funny, simply gorgeous mum Claire is. Yet she said she felt guilty.

What was she guilty of?

Not being perfect.
Not being all seeing, all knowing
Not having the benefit of perfect hindsight

And who is perfect? Who is all seeing, all knowing? Who does have perfect hindsight?

I find that guilt had reduced its coffee dates with me over my years of parenting. However, it seems to have become a more constant friend since divorce. As I have more to do now, I inevitably make more mistakes, miss things or simply have to say no to many things. Guilt loves to keep me company every time I can’t be the perfect mum.

Hmmmm… now there’s a phrase – perfect mum. Perfect parent.

Of course, there’s no such thing as perfect, is there? yet we frequently expect perfection from ourselves, especially as working parents. We expect to be able to serve everybody, be in 2 places at once. We expect ourselves to be Super Heroes.

And Super Heroes are fictitious characters, so THAT ain’t working for us, is it?

Enough already. What do we do about it?

Well, there are several things we can do to discourage our old mate Guilt from calling in too often, but today I’d like to focus on the one that, in my experience, helps more than any other.

First of all, we need to distinguish between “healthy guilt” and “unhealthy guilt”. Healthy guilt can push us in a positive direction of change. When we are not living our lives in accordance with our values – what is inherently important for us – guilt can steer us in the right direction.

However, for the purposes of this post, we’ll assume we all know what unhealthy guilt is – a toxic emotion. In fact it’s not even a real emotion. In Transactional Analysis terms, it’s a “racket emotion”, meaning that there are emotions underneath it.

Unhealthy guilt can lead to stress, anxiety, depression and fear. We don’t want any of that, so we need to step back and learn a strategy for dealing with guilt.

Here’s the one thing I know for sure that will help you deal with unhealthy guilt:

**Look** for the GAP between your expectations and reality.**

Here’s how to do that in 3 simple steps:

  1. Grab a piece of paper and brainstorm all the times when you have felt guilty. It might help to write “I feel guilty when” at the top of the paper
  2. Now write all of the expectations you have of yourself. Think about what you expect of yourself at home as well as at work
  3. Look for the gaps. If, like Gillian, you expect to be able to influence the train companies’ punctuality, you might want to adjust your expectations

In itself, this exercise is simplistic. It’s telling you what you already know. But the thing about guilt, is that we don’t see what we already know. By doing this exercise, you are using your rational brain to put things into perspective.

You might find, when you do this exercise, that there is still some nagging guilt left behind. Take that kernel of guilt and ask yourself, “Is there a change that I really want to make here?” If the answer is yes, then you have yourself a highly desirable goal. But be careful not to create “should” or “ought to” goals. Enlist the help of a friend or partner with a healthy dose of common sense and rational thinking to challenge you.

I’ll leave you with 10 things to remind yourself of next time you’re beating yourself up with guilt:

  1. You’re not the first, you won’t be the last to feel guilty. You’re not alone in feeling guilty. We’re all in this together, muddling through life as best we can.
  2. Stop striving for perfection – it’s a fool’s game, because it’s impossible.
  3. You’ll never be guilt-free, as kids are great at finding the weaknesses in our defences. It’s par for the course.
  4. Roll with the punches, go with the flow, bend with the wind (choose your metaphor!) It makes life a lot easier when you stop trying to control everything.
  5. Get into the habit of forgiving yourself, no matter what. It makes you into a kinder parent anyway.
  6. Remember that we often drop a proverbial ball because we are trying to juggle too many of them. When you next miss something (see my story above), see it as an opportunity to look for a way to simplify, rather than an opportunity to beat yourself up.
  7. Surround yourself with supportive people who love you and who can put it into perspective.
  8. And weed out the negative people in your lives. You know the ones – they delight in telling you how wonderfully perfect their life is, often in sly, insidious ways. Get rid. Life is too short for psychic vampires.
  9. Don’t take yourself, parenting, work or any of it too seriously. Humour is one of the most powerful antidotes to guilt.
  10. Good enough is good enough.

Two Powerful Alternatives to Goal Setting

By amandaalexander | Uncategorized


“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.”  -Roy E. Disney

A week last Friday I wrote a post about goal setting in January. The premise of that post was that you don’t have to set goals in the first week of January! For many people, the transition from Christmas to January needs to be a little gentler and with less pressure to feel all fired up and ready to conquer the World!

In today’s post, I’d like to offer you two powerful alternatives to goal setting. If you’re feeling stuck or you’re not yet inspired to set any goals for the year ahead, you might find one of these 2 alternatives might be just what you need instead!

1. A Values Based Alternative to Goal Setting

Perhaps you are riding a wave of happiness right now and you’re having difficulty in thinking about what’s next on your list to achieve. Sometimes life is good and you don’t necessarily have to be always striving to be better.

Perhaps you’d just like to take a break from achieving the next thing and enjoy your present circumstances. That’s ok!

Or perhaps life is not so shiny or sparkly and you’re feeling completely uninspired and unmotivated. Also fine!

Try this instead… Coach yourself Exercise 1:

a. What is working well in your life right now? (There’s always something!)

b. What is making you smile or is making your heart sing in your life at present?

c. What are the values that are being expressed within these – what’s working well and what’s making your heart sing?

d. Identify these values – write them down

e. Write a values-based statement for the year ahead. The idea is to set your intention for the year based around your values. This works because when we orient our lives around our values, things tend to fall into place more easily. You don’t have to know what you want to achieve – this isn’t about goals. You just need to understand the values that are most important to you. `

f. Put your values-based statement somewhere you can refer to it frequently – daily if possible. This will help you to recognise what you want more of in your life and what you want less of.

g. If you veer off track, you can refer back to your values-based statement to identify what’s not working through the filter of your values. Here are the only 2 questions you’ll need to do this:
How are my values being honoured in this situation?
Which values are NOT being honoured in this situation?

2. An Imagination Based Alternative to Goal Setting

Emile Coue (1857-1926) was a French Pharmacist and Psychologist, who discovered that “when the imagination and the (conscious) will are in conflict, the imagination invariably wins the day”. This is known as Coue’s Law of Reversed Effort. And it explains why, when you’re lying in bed desperate to sleep because you’ve got a big day ahead of you, you can’t get to sleep. You’re imagining how awful you’re going to look, you’re imagining how difficult that full day with important long meetings is going to pan out if you haven’t had a good night’s sleep.

Your imagination beats your conscious will to sleep. Coue’s Law happens when our imagination and our will are opposed. So we need to think about what we want to happen rather than what we fear happening.

In a nutshell, we’re talking about positive visualisation here, folks! Even if you can’t create clear goals, you can still express how you want to feel this year…

Happy? Calm? Joyful? Accomplished? In control? Loved? Healthy?

Any of the above?

Try this, Coach Yourself Exercise 2:

a. Pick an aspect of your life or career that you’d like to improve. You might find it easy to think in terms of the various roles you play in life. e.g. manager at work, parent, friend, child, sportswoman, writer..…

b. Once you’ve identified the situation or role, identify how you want to feel in that specific situation:
e.g. “I want to feel happy when…”
“I want to feel accomplished when..”

c. The next step is simple, but you need to take the time to actually do it! Find a quiet space and spend a few minutes on your chosen situation visualising what you want to happen and how you want to feel. If you find this difficult, don’t fret it – be kind to yourself. Don’t expect to be a master at positive visualisation until you’ve got into a habit. It takes time and repetition.

d. A little tip which might help – try renaming this exercise as “daydreaming” or “fantasising” if you find yourself stuck with “visualising” Daydreaming and fantasising are words that have gentle, easy connotations and tend to reduce the risk of performance anxiety. Have you ever imagined winning the lottery, lying on a hot beach or read a novel and imagined yourself as the protagonist? Everyone can daydream!

If you’re stuck with your goal setting, I hope that one of these exercises will help you. And my last word – whatever you do, leave space for magic and miracles in the year ahead. As I said in my previous post on goal setting:

“The year will unfold and there will be plenty of opportunities ahead”.

Goal Setting in January? You don’t have to!

By amandaalexander | Goals

It was about 3pm on Sunday 2nd January, the rain was incessant and the sky was dirty grey. I had spent 2 hours taking down the decorations and hoovering the pine needles and before that another 2 hours clearing out Freddie’s wardrobe.

I laid a fire, made myself a cup of tea and lit some candles in the living room. I had already printed out a workbook.

I was finally ready to review my year and set my fabulous goals for 2016.

But it didn’t quite go as I’d expected. I pretty much drew a blank with every question in the workbook.

I tried to answer questions like this:

“What amazing things did you achieve in 2015?”

I thought of some things I’d achieved, but they didn’t feel particularly amazing.

“What tools and resources have helped you succeed this year?”

I couldn’t think what helped me succeed. I could, however, remember the “tools” that had sucked up my time and caused me grief and frustration when they didn’t behave as expected.

“What made you happiest this year?”

Ah… now this was much easier. I scribbled down:

“Being outdoors, moving, getting muddy, swimming in lakes and rivers, dancing, larking around with the bloke, the company of good friends and fascinating people, cuddling my boys, laughing, being silly. Doing what I love in my business – connecting, coaching, speaking”.

Feeling more positive, I got to the part of the workbook inviting me to “manifest” an amazing year.

I couldn’t think in terms of amazing. I wasn’t feeling inspired or fired up. I started feeling like a fraud. Surely I should be able to describe my plans for the year without even pausing?

On Sunday 2nd January, the day after the hangover from hell (because I’d had a REALLY good New Year’s Eve larking around with lovely friends dancing and being silly), with that incessant rain still falling from the lowest, darkest of skies, the only amazing thing I could think of manifesting was a Terry’s Chocolate Orange.

Then I read 3 words that were supposed to inspire me, but which actually made me feel like crawling under a blanket and hibernating…


Have you heard that phrase yet? More than once, perhaps? I’m guilty as charged – it’s a phrase that I have used myself in previous years. But “best year yet” wasn’t doing it for me. I wondered how I’d feel about this phrase if, like many people, I was in the middle of a big life challenge.

Of course, we can set intentions and get really positive and follow through on our intentions. But there WILL be downs as well as ups throughout the year. Let’s face it, none of us will come to the end of 2016 with jaw-ache because we had a fixed grin on our faces for 365 days.

And that’s perfectly normal and fine.

But I could feel myself getting anxious about it. One of the voices in my head – Ms Inner Critic – had already piped up:

“Call yourself a Coach? Call yourself a positive person? You’re a FRAUD. How can you coach people when you can’t even set your New Year goals”

Ms Inner Critic got into her stride:

“If you can’t even set goals and be positive, how on earth are you going to succeed this year? You’re just going to meander through the year and get nowhere. You’ll be a failure.”

I listened to Ms Inner Critic, stayed with the anxious feelings and got curious…

What if it doesn’t matter if I’m not feeling inspired?
What if I’m just buying into a load of self-development “thou shalt” dogma without applying my own common sense to it?
So what if I don’t feel particularly excited right now?

Which is when the other strange voice in my head – Ms Inner Coach – gently whispered…

“I bet there are LOTS of people struggling with goal setting in January”

So I created a little meme on my phone to express my feelings, thinking it might help one or two people to read it. I wrote:

“Actually… you DON’T have to set brilliant goals in this first week in January. It’s all OK… the year will unfold and there will be plenty of opportunities ahead.
With love from Amanda xx”

I posted it on my personal Facebook timeline. The response has taken me by surprise. To date, 113 people have liked it, 13 have shared it and the comments? Well.. they can be summed up in one word:


If you’re all fired up, you’ve set great goals and you’re convinced that 2016 will be your best year ever, then this is GOOD and I’m cheering you on. And of course, in this case, this particular post isn’t going to float your boat!

However, if you are feeling a bit “meh”, not quite ready to take on 2016 or just a bit unclear as to what a great 2016 will look like, then this is for you..

Here’s what to do instead:

1. First of all, here’s your PERMISSION SLIP:

* You hereby have my permission to feel less than brilliant or amazing in January.
* It’s OK if you’re not ready to set goals.
* It’s OK if you’re still transitioning from Christmas.
* And guess what, you don’t even have to set a date by when you WILL set goals.
* Let it be – I know it feels uncomfortable. You want to feel good and that will come. Just go with the flow!

2. Here’s what you absolutely do NOT HAVE to do this month:

* Set any goals
* Set the intention that this will be your best year yet
* Take part in Dry January
* Take part in any challenges
* Go on a detox
* Stick to your resolutions
* Beat yourself up because you broke your New Year’s resolution today, yesterday or even on 2nd January.

You can if you want – but you don’t HAVE to.

3. Seek your moments of “flow”

When do you feel “in flow”? Being in flow is when you are so captivated and happy in your present moment that you forget to tell yourself that you’re rubbish or that your life isn’t perfect and that you’re a rubbish parent because you haven’t created a balanced meal plan for the week.

It’s when you are absolutely present in the moment. It might be walking in the countryside, laughing with your best friend, when you’re in a team meeting and you’re brainstorming ideas. It might be when you’re in a warm bath reading a trashy novel. You could be swimming, dancing, climbing, singing, playing the ukulele or driving your car with the radio turned up loud with one of your favourite tunes.

The trick to finding your moments of flow is tuning into your core values. What makes you feel that you are truly alive, living in integrity, soaring? Usually, our moments of flow are fully aligned to one or more of our core values. For example, I love being outdoors, I love meeting new people – values of freedom/adventure and of connection. So I’m in flow when I’m doing something outdoors or engaged in a fascinating conversation.

And here’s the thing – The more you can seek out and indulge in your moments of flow, the more you’ll start to feel inspired, see opportunities and get clear on what you want in 2016.

Next week, I’m going to share with you a great alternative to goal setting this year. It’s come about, funnily enough, from a fascinating coaching conversation with one of my clients, Grace Marshall, who always inspires me.

Until then, relax, be kind to yourself and go with the flow!

Are you ready for Christmas?

By amandaalexander | Uncategorized

Do you know which question I mean?….

“Are you ready for Christmas?”

NO!!!!! I am NOT!

Someone said to me the other day: “I haven’t got time to be ill now, just 2 weeks before the day; I have too much to do”. None of us “have time” to be ill, do we?! Particularly at this time of year. And yet, when illness hits us, we are forced to re-evaluate the things we thought were priorities. You didn’t hear from me last week for this reason – I came down with a nasty December cold, which is taking it’s time to disappear. I was forced to re-evaluate my priorities and it got me thinking about the pressure we put ourselves under with the false concept of “getting everything done” at this time of year.

You know what time of year it is when the usual “How are you?” question in polite society is replaced with “Are you ready for Christmas?”

Yesterday, Peter “the shed man” came to measure up for a wood store/shed. When he was about to leave, he asked, with a look of panic on his face, “You don’t want it before Christmas, do you?” He was so relieved when I replied “Erm, no, Christmas is not dependent on the shed!” We had a brief discussion about the pressure to “have it all” and “get it all done” before the day.

Peter told me his wife was insisting that she needed to clean their windows. And that most of his customers were pleading for their sheds in time for Christmas day.

Do we really need to have it all and get it all done?

But despite not insisting on having my shed built within the next week, I’m just as guilty of this kind of thinking as the next woman. I have my fantasy “things I want to get done by Christmas” list… I wanted to finish off several work projects (yeah right!) clean the oven (this has been on my list ALL YEAR) and clear out the boys’ wardrobes and the under-stairs cupboard (the expression “I’d rather have root canal surgery” comes to mind).

What’s this all about?! Why make a list of additional things when there is plenty to do at this time of year anyway? Why add this pressure? It’s crazy, isn’t it? None of this is actually important. So what if you miss the last post and your Christmas cards arrive AFTER Christmas? Is it really going to mean the end of the World? So what if you haven’t ordered your turkey/beef/goose/nut roast and you have to make do with what’s left on the the shelves on Christmas Eve? In my experience, there’s never been a shortage of turkeys! What if, (like me) you are not 100% organised and not only have you not yet WRAPPED your presents, you’re also not entirely sure where you’ve hidden them all! The fact is, the presents will get wrapped!

So my message to you – and reminder to myself – in today’s post is that we don’t have to have it all or do it all before Christmas Day.

Perhaps we should look to the true meaning of Christmas for reassurance and to give us permission not to be “quite ready” or “done”:

Mary did not have a private maternity suite booked. She had to make do with a stable.

Jesus had “no crib for a bed”. He made do with a manger full of hay (so you’ll be fine if that new sofa doesn’t arrive in time)

Despite the many things that weren’t in place for Jesus’s birth, it all worked out. The shepherds managed to find him, the three Wise Men managed to cobble together 3 gifts – and I bet they didn’t go shopping for them weeks earlier. 🙂

So whatever your faith or your beliefs, please take comfort from knowing that the origins of Christmas were humble. The messages of simplicity, kindness, trust, hope and love can still be at the heart of our own Christmas time, even though our own lives may be very different.

Remember to enjoy this run up to Christmas as well as the day itself – of course there are things to do, but do them with lightness and let go of the need for perfection. What doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done!

The one surefire way of taming your ego

By amandaalexander | Wellbeing


I have been pondering on the nature of our ego lately and how it gets in our way.

What IS an ego anyway? There are so many definitions and it’s one of those words that is open up to endless discussion.

Here’s one definition of ego:

“A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”.

In a more spiritual context,  here is ego as defined by Deepak Chopra:

“The ego is our self-image, not our true self. It is characterized by labels, masks, images, and judgments.”

And perhaps, most succinctly, the ego can be defined as “our small self”.

None of us wants to be “our small self”, do we? Yet we are frequently slaves to our ego, despite the pain this causes us.

I found myself being a slave to my own ego the other week. A couple of things happened and my ego kicked into play:

  1. A business colleague who had offered to connect me with someone has ignored my gentle prompts. So far I’ve sent 2 polite emails, 2 polite private messages and called and left a message with a secretary. All have remained unanswered.

This is what my ego thought about the lack of response:

“There’s obviously something about you that has made her change her mind.  You’re not important/good/professional enough.  . maybe she actually just doesn’t like you. Yeah that’s it.. there’s something wrong with you.”

Actually, it’s just plain rudeness, but my ego is paranoid enough to think it must be about ME. Because that’s what the ego always thinks!

  1. I wasn’t invited to be part of a project within an area I have a great deal of expertise in as well as a solid reputation. I noticed that others, less experienced, with less knowledge HAD been invited to that conversation. One of these was a lady I had mentored who had gone on to use some of my intellectual property and pass it off as her own without acknolwedgment.

So my ego was properly p***d off about this. It chattered and chattered away…

“Don’t they know who you are and what you’ve done in this area?”
“Why haven’t they invited you? They DO know the expertise you have in this area. Of course they do. What’s going on?”

At this point the ego stamps its little feet and pouts and feels properly sorry for itself!

Our small selves HATE being left out, don’t they? They really like to be taken SERIOUSLY, because they are so very, VERY important.

They make up stories – completely fantastical, far-fetched stories which always have bad endings.  They embellish those stories with all sorts of monsters.

But I know how to tell that ego to be quiet. I know how to calm that small self and reassure it that it is safe.  Sometimes I forget, but as soon as I remember, it works a dream.

For me to tell you the secret to letting go of your ego, I need to tell you a story…

Two Presidents were sitting in an office engaged in a meeting. Suddenly, in bursts a woman, apoplectic with fury. She is swearing, she’s gesticulating, she’s absolutely furious, complaining to the Home President:

“Look what these people have done now. I don’t believe this.  Don’t they realise what this means?!”

“Suzanne,” says the home President to the woman after she has ranted for a while. “Please calm yourself, and remember Rule #6.”

Instantly, Suzanne is calm. She smiles, her shoulders drop, she walks out of the office a different woman.

Ten minutes later, a man walks in, red in the face, obviously agitated, frowning. He’s really, really angry.

Again, the President waits until the man has said his piece, then he says quietly but firmly to the man: “Carl, please. Be calm and remember Rule #6.”

And again, the same effect. Carl, just as Suzanne did earlier, instantly looks more relaxed. The frown disappears, he smiles and walks out of the office as a much calmer Carl.

At the end of the meeting, the visiting President says,

“Tell me, it was extraordinary, when those people came in. They were so stressed. You mentioned this Rule #6 and the effect on them was instant. What is this Rule #6 you said to them that changed them?”

The home President said to his guest,

“Ah. Simple. Rule #6 is this:  DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SO DARNED SERIOUSLY.”

“Ah, that is a fine rule,” said the visiting President. “Tell me, what are the other rules?”

“The other rules? There aren’t any.” 🙂

And that is the story of Rule #6. I learned this many years ago from a book called “The Art of Possibility “ by Ben and Rosamunde Zander. It has stayed with me ever since I first read it and I have retold this story many times within workshops and to my clients.


When you find your small self, your ego getting noisy, the surefire way to calm yourself down is to remember Rule #6: Don’t take yourself so darned seriously!

On being yourself

By amandaalexander | Confidence


Being yourself – one simple phrase. But what on earth does it actually mean to be yourself? And do you really know who you are? And what do you do when being yourself means being vulnerable?

Because let’s face it, if you truly ARE yourself, then some people won’t approve. Some won’t like you. You can’t please all of the people all of the time, after all. And what if “yourself” is “not good enough”?

What if you feel you have to “act” more formal, more funky, more corporate, more arty, more senior, more SOMETHING to achieve success? What if you are worried that “you” just doesn’t cut the mustard?

Believe me, this is something that I have battled with many times in my own personal growth journey! I’m going to briefly share with you what I’ve noticed this week. I’ve had conversations with a handful of the UK’s most influential women in business this week, with many more to come.

I have experienced self-doubt on many occasions during these conversations. With some of these women, I ended the conversation with thoughts like these nibbling away at me:

“Did she like me?”
“Did I come over as professional?”
“Did I waffle?”

to name but a few of the thoughts! Isn’t it fascinating, how much we question ourselves?!

Of course, some of the women I’ve spoken to and met this week may well think that “me” is a bit too enthusiastic, not refined enough, a bit too “whatever” for their taste.

However, others will feel the opposite. We connect with some people, more than others. I came off some of the phone calls buzzing, feeling as if I’d really connected with a like-minded soul. And that made me believe MORE in myself.

As the week has gone on, I have kept daring myself to be ME, more and more. And life has brought me several opportunities for that dare, but more about that another time.

This is the point: Daring to be yourself takes a heck of a lot of courage. Because, as we both know, some people won’t like you! But guess what, some will!

Here are a few coaching questions to ponder:

What do you worry about when you are interacting with people you don’t know?
Do you notice that there are certain friends or colleagues with whom you “put on act” when you are in their company?
Who are the people that you can be absolutely you, no holds barred with? Hint: There are likely to be very few!
What if you dared yourself to show a bit more of the true you to those people? Do you dare?

If you’d like to really get to know yourself and you are willing to play, I’ve got something so utterly brilliant coming up, that you’ll need to wear sunglasses because you’ll be so dazzled!

Next week, I’m launching a 3-part video coaching course. I’d go so far as to say it’s unique. I haven’t seen anything like it before.

You’ll get me coaching you over the course of 3 videos.

You will sit quietly with the questions, hitting pause on the videos as required.

And you will experience just a tiny element of the power of coaching.

Here’s what I am going to coach you on in these videos:

1. How to Know Yourself, Like Yourself and Be Yourself
2. How to Understand What You Want
3. How to Trust Yourself

This is important, essential and powerful stuff. And oh so necessary. Too many women are afraid of being themselves. Yet it’s the golden key to success, fulfilment and balance. Too many women don’t know what they want or what they are about because they have been so busy focusing on helping others. I’m on a mission to change all that!

Oh, and I almost forgot. The video coaching programme is going to be 100% FREE!

[Firstname] I strongly suspect you’re going to love it. I haven’t decided yet what to call the free video coaching programme, though. If inspiration strikes you for a title, please drop me an email!

Yours, excitedly, adventurously and authentically
Amanda x

Useful Links

How to overcome fear of rejection

By amandaalexander | Courage

Have you ever held yourself back because of thoughts like these?

– What if people don’t like me?

– What if people reject me?

– What if people are mean to me or belittle me?

Of COURSE you have. You are human. It’s ok to be afraid of people rejecting you – it doesn’t mean that you are lacking in any way. When we are rejected, our “lizard brain” kicks in. It produces cortisol and we want to run away…. Fight or flight! You’ve heard the metaphor “like a slap in the face”? It’s a very apt metaphor for how we feel when we are rejected.

But the problem is, you know that your fear of rejection is holding you back.  Good news – this post will help you how to overcome fear of rejection!

This week I listened to an interview with a man called Jia Jiang on a podcast called Bulletproof Radio. Two years ago Jia decided to embark upon his own personal project called “100 days of rejection”. His goal was to desensitise himself from the pain of rejection and overcome his fear of being rejected by making 100 requests over 100 consecutive days.

The Krispy Kreme Olympic Donut Experiment

On the third day, Jia went into a branch of Krispy Kreme and asked for a series of donuts made into an Olympic ring, fully expecting to be rejected. However, the assistant said yes, disappeared for 10 minutes and emerged having made him an Olympic ring of Krispy Kreme Donuts!

Jia recounts that he was completely overcome, surprised and touched at this “yes” as it was counter to his expectations during his experiment. 


“How many Olympic donut experiences have you missed because you’ve been scared of rejection?”

In fact, out of the 100 days of asking things which Jia thought were sure to get him rejected, he was only rejected 49 times. That’s right – the majority of times, even though Jia designed his requests to be rejected, he experienced the opposite.

What might you achieve if you gave up on being afraid of being rejected?

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!

Rejection therapy did, as you’d expect, desensitise Jia and it meant he became more courageous and more adept at questioning the “nos” However, stretching outside our comfort zone is not always a upwards trajectory, as Jia demonstrated on day 97 of his 100 days of rejection. Day 97’s challenge was to give a speech on a street.

I guess that, like me, you’re probably thinking that by the 97th day, it was probably a breeze for Jia to give a speech on a street.

Not so…

Jia was so afraid of being rejected by strangers, the build-up leading to him making his speech was a real psychological struggle. This is simply because our “lizard brain” takes over – the amygdala that kicks in to prompt us into flight or flight mode.  We are biologically programmed to be part of the tribe and we don’t want to do anything that might threaten being excluded from our tribe.

Jia concludes:

“Sometimes no matter how hard you train yourself, the fear of rejection will still be there. However, you’ve strengthened yourself and minimized your enemy – fear. If you rely on the strength, and “feel the fear and do it anyway,” you will always be glad you did.”

12 lessons on how to overcome fear of rejection

Here are 12 lessons for overcoming fear or rejection that I took from listening to Jia Jiang:

  1. You have the freedom to ask whatever you want
  2. Other people have the freedom to respond to your request however they want
  3. Detachment is key: This will give you the confidence and freedom to ask.
  4. Even if you become a master of being rejected, you’ll always have to combat your “lizard brain”. That’s just a normal physiological part of being human. Don’t sweat it (although you actually will!!)
  5. Focus on what you can control. You can’t control acceptance or rejection, but you can focus on your actions, one by one.
  6. Celebrate failure! For me this is about looking for golden nuggets of learning from each failure
  7. If you don’t face your fear, you’ll always live in a certain amount of fear, because you’ll never know
  8. When you are the one doing the rejecting, there is no reason for you to be a “jerk”! Be kind and be reasonable
  9. Remember that “No” is the most painful word in any language. There’s the key for why we take on too much, eh? We don’t want to be rejected. This is a biggie for me. I don’t know about you, but I actually don’t like saying “no” to my kids. I don’t want them to be upset, angry with me. It’s much nicer when they think I’m the best mum in the World!
  10. Help your kids to get a bit more comfortable with failure by asking them “Tell me something you failed at today”. Help them to think about what they have tried hard with. Help them to get used to the fact that it’s not the end of the World when they fail…. And that they can keep on trying.
  11. Set up a system whereby people HAVE to reject you. For example, set up a number of rejections that you will take before you give up. Then you can “give up”, honour satisfied!
  12. And if all else fails, ask yourself – How many Olympic donut rings might you miss out on if you don’t ask? 🙂

I hope this post has given you some food for though on how to overcome fear of rejection.  Let me know what works for you! And if you’ve enjoyed this post, please TELL YOUR FRIENDS…  They won’t reject you for it! 🙂

Career Problems: Are you creating them before they even exist?

By amandaalexander | Career

Over many years of being tuned into the female psyche whilst coaching my client base of mainly women, I have noticed that we tend to leap ahead of ourselves, especially with our careers. We create career problems that don’t exist. And this can stop a budding new career in its tracks before it has even started

How we create career problems that don’t exist yet

Women are BRILLIANT at getting ahead of ourselves. We are masters at over-complicating things, over-analysing and imagining every possible outcome of a scenario at lightning speed. In short, we are pretty good at creating problems that don’t yet exist!

But when we anticipate career problems before we’ve even got the job, it leads to hesitation, self-doubt and ultimately, it holds us back. I believe that women create their own barriers to success with this kind of “fantasy problem creation”.

Any of this sound familiar?

1. You spot a job opening for a role that sounds almost as if it was made for you. You get really excited about it.

2. You they realise that there’s something about the job that might make it a deal-breaker or mean a serious compromise. It might be that you don’t want to work full time and the job is advertised as such. It might be that the job involves a lot of travel away from home and you have young children and that’s not going to work. Or, you might look at the skills and experience requirements of the job and realise that you don’t quite have ALL of the “must have” requirements.

3. If you have focused on the not quite perfect aspects of the job, you mentally leap forward in time to the point at which you have got the job and you are unhappy because you ARE making that serious compromise.

In a few short steps, you have gone from being fired up and motivated to apply for the job, to feeling unhappy, defeated and worried about it. **

Or maybe you have honed in on the 20% of the job requirements you don’t quite meet, so you become disheartened and worried. Not only that you might not get an interview, but also that you will NEVER find a perfect job where you actually meet the role requirements.

1. This fast-forward thinking then leads to these types of outcomes:

a. Your brain churns over how you are going to solve this, as yet, non-existent problem and you spend far too much precious energy and time worrying about it, trying to imagine a solution.

b. You come to the conclusion that the not-quite-perfect aspects of the job are going to cause you problems, that it’s not going to work for you.Almost as soon as your mind had started seeing the exciting possibilities of this new job, you dismiss it as unfeasible.

c. You decide that there’s absolutely no point in applying for this job because you’re never going to get it. You don’t meet all the requirements and so the recruiter won’t even give your application a second glance.

If any of this sounds familiar, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! In fact, today’s post was prompted by a message from one of my lovely, talented clients who was doing just this. And I’ve seen it so many times. Ye Gods, I’ve done it myself!

7 Steps to STOP Creating Career Problems That Don’t Exist Yet

Take a step back, suspend disbelief and STOP getting ahead of yourself.You need to STOP doing this because it WILL lead to self-defeating thoughts and behaviours. It will lead to analysis paralysis, giving up or simply putting the wrong energy out there even if you go ahead and do something.

All you need to do are follow these simple steps:

1. Tune into your what you WANT. Get excited. Imagine the BEST possible outcome.

2. Ask yourself, “What’s the first tiny little step here?”

3. Take that first tiny, weeny baby step

4. Once you’ve taken that step, ask yourself, what’s the next tiny step I can take?

5. And so on!

6. Keep up the excitement of what you want – keep visualising your best possible outcome. Have fun with your imagination!

7. Let go of the outcome. Don’t get attached to it. Yes – be excited. Yes – imagine yourself there. But NO – do not let it be your “be all and end all” Get rid of words like “I need to do this” or “I’ve GOT to do this”. You will be just fine whether the thing happens or does not happen.

Don’t Lean Back in Your Career

In my “Inspiring Women” podcast with Kristen Pressner of Roche Diagnostics, we talked about this habit of women “leaning back”.

This is what Kristen said:

“..women are making decisions to lean back or not fully be all-in in career or education in anticipation of a life balance issue that doesn’t exist yet”

She admitted it that she had been guilty of “leaning back” herself:

“When I was offered my current role, my job is a big part of the world and I have 50+% travel and I have four children and I have an hour and a half commute to the office each day.. Originally when I was offered the job thought, “Yeah, I’m not going to take … there’s no way. How does that work?” I almost turned it down until I really got real with myself about why, because I was telling myself, “Well, you’re going to have to turn it down because it isn’t a good fit for your family,” but deep down really I knew I probably could find a way to sort it.”

And clearly, Kristen DID find a way to sort it!

If you haven’t listened to this podcast yet, I recommend you do so. We have had so many rave reviews about this interview – Kristen is a true inspirational role model and you’ll feel as if you’re listening in to a conversation between 2 friends.

It’s very easy (and free) to subscribe to my “Inspiring Women Interviews” podcast and download , Sticher. Or you can listen and download the interview directly from my website.

You don’t have to “make it work” or find a way to “sort it” like Kristen, but please don’t hold yourself back by creating career problems that don’t even exist yet!

5 Questions For Living From a Dying Man

By amandaalexander | Courage

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a very unusual webinar with a gentleman called Mike Seddon. Mike is an entrepreneur whose first business selling software morphed into a specialist online service helping businesses to market themselves using Google Adwords. I had never heard of Mike before, but I was introduced to him by Ian Brodie, a Marketing Strategist for whom I have a great deal of respect.

When I started writing this to you, I tried to find the email Ian had sent to me about this “Last Webinar” to let you know what made me decide to register. And this search prompted a very real reminder of the importance of “carpe diem” as we never know what tomorrow holds. As I searched for the email, the name “Mike Seddon” came up as recently as 20th May, when Ian had interviewed him for his podcast.

Less than 2 months later, the same man was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was told he had just a few weeks to live.

Sobering stuff, isn’t it? But before you delete this email or dismiss it as depressing, please read on…

Hearing news like this is a reminder of how precious each day is and the importance of living our lives fully. I’m no expert on Buddhism, but I have done a little reading around Buddha’s teaching, attended a couple of workshops at the local Buddhist centre and one of the Buddhist philosophies that is always at the top of my mind is that, in order to fully live, we have to first accept that we will die. Forgive me if it’s not quite right, but that’s the gist of it.

Last week, I “met” this very courageous man for the first time on his “Last Webinar”. Here was a man who was staring his mortality straight in the face, yet he chose to spend one of those precious hours doing something positive for his fellow human beings, even at this most frightening of times.

I listened to Mike Seddon speak with tears in my eyes. This was a webinar presented by a man who had to choke back his own tears at the thought of leaving his wife behind. It was a webinar presented by a man who apologised that he would seem weepy as he adjusted his morphine levels. Occasionally, he winced with pain as he spoke. You’d have to be pretty hardened not to be touched by his courage.

However, this week’s post is about how we can live full out, It’s not about being negative – in fact, far from it! There is certainly realism, but also optimism, positive reflection and courage.

The No. 1 Thing Mike Wants You to Do TODAY!

Very simply, Mike Seddon, a man with weeks to live,  wants you to do this:  Schedule time out of your busy life to spend a day reflecting on your life in a way that is both aspirational, positive AND eminently practical.

His friend coined a name for the day – He called it a Seddon Day.

Mike asked each of us to schedule a “Seddon Day” NOW. He suggested we take ourselves off somewhere nice for the day, where we could reflect on his 5 questions deeply.

Your 5 Questions for Living from Mike

Here are Mike’s questions for you to ponder on your “Seddon Day”. The questions are his with some of my own interpretation thrown in:

1. What is my “Why” and am I living it? 

This isn’t just about your family. What is YOUR personal “why” in life? What’s your mission? Why were you put on this earth? What is your greatest gift? What legacy do you want to leave behind?  And are you living that “why” right now? If not, what

2. What does success look like? 

Build your life and your career/business according tot he value you bring to others and expect to be paid for the value you bring.

3. Am I enjoying the journey? 

There is only this moment – right now. You’ve heard me talk about this a lot too. It’s pointless having future goals if you have to make yourself utterly miserable in order to achieve them. I believe in hard work, dedication and pushing yourself, but you won’t do any of that if you’re not working hard, being dedicated and pushhing yourself on a path that you love.

If you’re not enjoying the journey, then please use your Seddon Day to brainstorm what you can and what you WILL do to change direction! Think you can’t? Allow me to remind you that it’s later than you think and time is ticking away. This might help you to get more creative

1. Am I hanging out with the right people? 

Mike cautioned women in particular at this point about not taking as gospel the “success stories” we observe superficially in other women. He reminded us that “little people talk about other people and big people talk about ideas”. So hang out with people who love you, who share your values and who don’t gossip. There is so much richness in this big wide World of ours, so much to learn. Why would you impoverish yourself intellectually by spending your life bitching about others? Expand your mind and expand your social circle to one that brings you joy. For me, it’s about hang out with people who you respect and love, who will push you to stretch further and achieve your potential, who don’t let you take yourself or life too seriously and who make you lark around like a big kid!

2. What would happen to my loved ones if I was no longer around?

I told you the questions included practical and this last question is immensely practical. If you were to be run over by the proverbial bus tomorrow, would your family struggle to access your bank accounts? Would they know which life assurance policy you had taken out? Would they know where to look? Passwords?

Mike also asked – Have you created any passive income streams that can continue to provide income to your family even after you’re gone? His audience on the webinar was primarily online business owners, so you might think this doesn’t apply to you. But the fact is, you CAN create a “passive income” business, even if you are employed.

This last Seddon question will take some time to answer and implement, as you’ll have to create a few procedures. It’s all about getting your finances in order. It’s one of those things we all tend to avoid. Let’s face it, it’s the sort of thing you can put off for a lifetime (pardon the black humour pun!)

But look at it this way, if you were really unwell, would you want to be spending your last days calling financial institutions trying to work through their bureaucracy and inefficiency? I know from Mike’s Facebook timeline that he IS having to do this. And I have no qualms about a name and shame here – it’s the Halifax – Boo!

Did You Read This Far?

For some people, this will be a post to avoid.  I don’t think there are many people out there who are comfortable talking about death.  Some people may ignore it. Others may judge it as “depressing”.  Good luck to them!

But if you’ve got this far, then congratulations – I believe you are open-minded, curious and determined to live your life full out.  So I’ll leave you with this, one of my favourite quotes about the big “D” word!  It has been attributed to various people and as anonymous. The provenance is unimportant. The philosophy IS important….. Live every single moment of your amazing life! Live purposefully, fully and enjoy the ride!

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW— What a Ride!”

When is Your Seddon Day?

My “Seddon Day” is in my diary on Friday 21st August. Let’s get some accountability going here. When is yours? 🙂  I’d love to know if you’re moved to schedule your own Seddon Day.  Let me know in the comments below!

If you want to watch Mike’s webinar, you can do here.

About Shakespeare Hospice

If you got something from this post and Mike’s questions, I know that the biggest thanks you can give him would be to help in raising money for the charity that is supporting him to die at home and with dignity – Shakespeare Hospice. The other night Mike posted on his timeline that he was frightened. The hospice didn’t have enough nurses to cover him and he was having problems with his syringe driver. He appealed to people to donate so others would not have to have this fear.

So please, if you could donate whatever you can to Mike’s Just Giving page, then that would be extremely kind of you. Don’t be worried if it’s just £1. If every person reading this donated £1 today, then Mike would meet his target of raising £6,000 for Shakespeare Hospice by the end of today.

Why I changed my money mindset

By amandaalexander | Finances

Whether you are bringing in loads of dough, an employee, self-employed, a business owner or a stay at home parent having to manage what’s available… you just have to watch this video.

When I was a child, I learnt that, to be successful, I should go to university, graduate and build a “good” career. That was the way to be secure and wealthy, wasn’t it?

Or that’s what I thought..

So I went to university – and stayed far too long! Not only did I do a BA, I did a double honours BA. Then I went on to do a conversion M.Sc. in Computation. I took out a Student Loan to fund my M.Sc.

I applied for the graduate trainee scheme of a global IT company. Tick! I got in and started a good career. I soon became an accredited Project Manager on a decent salary, company car, pension scheme etc.

I met my future husband and we became DINKYs (Double Income No Kids Yet). We had some great times and we spent with profligacy. But we also had plenty of financial pressure building – for example, my husband to be had 2 children to support from his previous marriage.

We got married, spent a fortune on our wedding, an even bigger fortune on our honeymoon, decided to move house and took out a bigger mortgage for the bigger house! Just as we were about to move into our bigger house with our bigger mortgage, straight after our indulgent pre-baby holiday, my husband was made redundant. I was 6 months pregnant when that happened.

A week or so later I was threatened with redundancy. My husband didn’t get a new job until my son was 6 months old. And when he was 6 months old, I was made redundant. By that time I had decided that I would re-train as a Coach – a decision which incurred a significant investment in my own training and coaching. Boy, it’s been a long time since I had the so-called “security” of a career as an employee!

Like many people, we lived beyond our means. We let the good times roll. When the unexpected happened (as the unexpected always will), we had no buffer. We seemed trapped with no way out.

Fast forward 12 years and sadly, our marriage broke down. This meant were faced with funding TWO households instead of one. I know that there are many people who stay in their marriage because it is not financially viable to do otherwise. I understand that – it’s not easy.

Around this time, quite by chance, I met Ann Wilson, known as the Wealth Chef. She’s a best-selling author and a “wealth guru” – a title that sounds trite, but which I assure you is well-deserved.

Ann has been my “wealth mentor” for 3 years now. Learning from her has transformed my life and relationship with money.

If I could have one wish about my “wealth”, it would be this – I wish I’d met Ann 20 years ago when I was still at University. 

Ann has just released a new video series and in it, she’s teaching some of the most valuable things I’ve learnt from her – things that have made a huge impact on my own mindset about wealth as well as my financial attitude, planning, aspirations – all of it!

In the videos, she’s going to share:

▪ How to create passive income stream businesses; (I do this now)
▪ How to invest safely and easily in the stock market; (I do this now)
▪ How to put our whole financial freedom plan together so we know we have everything covered; and (I am getting there with this!)
▪ How to get rid of limiting beliefs that have held us back in the past. (I am getting better and better at this!)

Ann is so committed to helping others live the greatest versions of our lives with money supporting us, so we can:

▪ Free ourself up from having to work harder and harder for money;
▪ Travel and experience more of life’s wonders;
▪ Spend more time with our family and friends;
▪ Contribute more to the things we feel passionate about; and
▪ Know we will be safe and secure in our old age.

It’s hard to put into words how deep an impact this woman has! There’s nothing sleazy or dubious about the way Ann teaches. It’s solid, sensible yet also life-changingly eye opening.

Go here to watch her free video and be sure to take lots of notes because she always gives huge value! However, just to warn you…her videos will only be up for a short time, so go watch it now before they come down!

Click here to watch this free teaching video now.

This is the stuff they should have taught us at school and which I’m starting to teach my boys – slowly but doggedly!

Please tell her I sent you in the comments!

 Here’s that link again

7 Tips to Stay Sane, Happy and Healthy When Life is Manic

By amandaalexander | Wellbeing

How has your week been? Has it been slow or fast? Hard or easy? Fun or downright NOT fun? Has it been a bit MANIC?!

I started writing this email to you yesterday afternoon on the train back home from London This week has indeed been manic: Jam-packed with great connections, opportunities, challenges and events. I have met some wonderful people, achieved positive things and worked really really hard!

Maybe, like mine, your life can often be a bit manic, packed with things like this..

▪ Meetings
▪ Client delivery
▪ Commuter chaos
▪ Organising extra childcare due to travel
▪ Ditto for dog care!
▪ Trying to figure out what you’re going to feed the kids at night
▪ Wishing your kids would get to bed so you can go to bed early

If any of these strike a chord, here are 8 of my own top tips that help me. And I share them with you in the hope that they will help to keep you sane, happy and healthy too, even when life is a bit manic!

1. Choose sleep!

One of the things you have to consciously make a priority as much as possible when life is manic is getting enough sleep as possible. I realise the irony of this, of course! However, lack of sleep causes cortisol levels to rise which increases stress. Apart from the more serious health risks of elevated cortisol over a long period of time, in the short term when you’re tired you eat more when you’re tired, you put weight and so on.


2. Don’t get stressed if you’re not getting enough sleep!

According to one tabloid I glanced at yesterday, here in the UK we’ve had the “HOTTEST JULY EVER”. Us Brits tend to start melting as soon as we get a heatwave, we don’t cope very well. Which means we haven’t slept too well here this week. My point is this: Don’t sweat it (pardon the pun) if you have a few bad nights sleep. Seek opportunities for a few minutes rest throughout your day. You WILL get through that important client meeting even if you feel as if you’re an extra on the set of The Walking Dead. You WILL make it til the end of the day even though you are so tired your brain is addled. Remember what I said about cortisol levels? Well, you’ll raise them even more if you get stressed about not sleeping!

3. Accept that it IS hard

If you’re a mum or a carer, it is hard. I’m a single mum and it’s really hard sometimes. I can’t just flop on the sofa as soon as you get in from a busy day and there’s nobody else to do one thing whilst you do another. Many of you will know about that anyway with partners working away from home. Your kids will want your attention, kids are selfish and quite frankly they don’t really give 2 hoots about your problems. Try to be the “adult”, shrug your shoulders and remember why you love the little blighters!

4. Prepare some good stuff so you are reasonably well nourished

Easier said than done when you’re busy, I know! But we all know that what we put in our bodies has a big effect on how we feel. I’ve been carrying a bag of nuts around with me this week, a flask of iced mint tea and a bottle of water. I can tell you that these things were manna from heaven when I got caught in the worst “commuter chaos” of the year on Wednesday on “the hottest day of the year”.

5. Listen to your body

Right now I’m pretty tired and I’ve noticed a tummy ache which greeted me on Wednesday morning and hasn’t completely left yet. I know what this is – too much adrenaline coursing through my body, not surprising with all the things that are going on. But the point is this – be mindful of what your body is telling you. It has taken me many years to “get” this!

I’ve seen too many of my clients and friends literally make themselves ill by not listening to the warning signs. If something starts niggling, then think about what you can do to gently deal with it. For me, it means more mini mindfulness moments (meditation) each day, putting my hands on my tummy and constantly reminding myself that “this too shall pass”. Yep.. it can be that simple!

6. Do what you can when you can to redress the balance

I have decreed Sunday as a complete relaxation day. No rushing round, no extreme physical exertion, no work, just a complete wind down. If you’ve got a run of manic days, look in your diary for slots when you can just switch off and SCHEDULE THEM IN!

7. Look for EVERY opportunity for fun and humour

I save the best for last: I do this every day and I think it’s the most important tip! Life can be serious, which is exactly why you need to train yourself to see the funny side, look for the absurd, lighten up and go with the flow. Put a smile on your face and remember that, whatever your challenges right now, this is just another opportunity to build your resilience and look for the ridiculous, mad, daft or fun side.

Achieve Your Goals in the 2nd Half of the year:Mid Year Review

By amandaalexander | Goals

If you want to achieve your goals, you gotta have a plan! 

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” _
~ Jim Rohn_

Ouch! This quote is a bit edgy, isn’t it? Edgy because it’s true: If you don’t design your own life, then you tend to become an element of someone else’s plan. That doesn’t mean to say your plans must be grand, you don’t have to quit your job or move to the Outer Hebrides.

But it’s always better to know WHY you’re doing what you’re doing. Is it part of a bigger picture? Or are you doing it just because it was the first thing that came along and time just flies and you’re so busy and you really MUST get round to doing something about it…

Quite often, people get stuck in “comfortable discomfort”. What this means is that they are plodding along living a life which is kind of “meh”!
It’s o.k. but it’s not really the life you’d dreamed of for yourself.

I’m not sure if you noticed, but we are almost exactly half way through the year! It’s almost July. How did that happen? Which brings me back to the importance of having a plan for your life. We all know about goal setting and traditionally we set goals in January.

▪ Did you set any annual goals in January?
▪ If so, are you half way to reaching them?
▪ What have you achieved so far this year?
▪ Has the year run away with you?
▪ Have you been too busy to make time for the bigger picture?

If you’re squirming a bit now, don’t beat yourself up – you’re human and you are NOT alone. Life happens and I KNOW how busy you are (aren’t we all!)

But nothing changes if nothing changes! So let’s do something about this, shall we?

The Mid Year Motivation Workshop: Tuesday 30th June at 12.30pm BST

Join me for this FREE no fluff, no theory all action lunchtime workshop this Tuesday 30th June at 12.30pm. This will be a short, fast-paced webinar where, in 30 mins, I will take you through a set of questions to review the 1st half of the year and create a PROPER PLAN for the second half!

This workshop is 100% free, 100% action-orientated and 100% positive.

What’s in it for me? You’ll get to experience my style and approach as a Coach and Trainer. If you benefit from the workshop (and I know you will), then you’ll say good things about me to your colleagues and friends – and my business grows from referrals.

Click here to register your place on the Mid Year Motivation Workshop with Amanda, Tuesday 30th June at 12.30pm to 1pm UK Time

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar. You can share this with your friends – all welcome! I’ll record this webinar for you and let you have access for a week after, but no longer, as it defeats the purpose of getting your goal plan created fast!

Hope you can join me for some mid year motivation and plan creation!

Here’s the link again to my complimentary Mid Year Motivation Workshop to register your place.