Tag Archives for " self-worth "

Whether you are bringing in loads of dough, an employee, self-employed, a business owner or a stay at home parent having to manage what’s available… you just have to watch this video.

When I was a child, I learnt that, to be successful, I should go to university, graduate and build a “good” career. That was the way to be secure and wealthy, wasn’t it?

Or that’s what I thought..

So I went to university – and stayed far too long! Not only did I do a BA, I did a double honours BA. Then I went on to do a conversion M.Sc. in Computation. I took out a Student Loan to fund my M.Sc.

I applied for the graduate trainee scheme of a global IT company. Tick! I got in and started a good career. I soon became an accredited Project Manager on a decent salary, company car, pension scheme etc.

I met my future husband and we became DINKYs (Double Income No Kids Yet). We had some great times and we spent with profligacy. But we also had plenty of financial pressure building – for example, my husband to be had 2 children to support from his previous marriage.

We got married, spent a fortune on our wedding, an even bigger fortune on our honeymoon, decided to move house and took out a bigger mortgage for the bigger house! Just as we were about to move into our bigger house with our bigger mortgage, straight after our indulgent pre-baby holiday, my husband was made redundant. I was 6 months pregnant when that happened.

A week or so later I was threatened with redundancy. My husband didn’t get a new job until my son was 6 months old. And when he was 6 months old, I was made redundant. By that time I had decided that I would re-train as a Coach – a decision which incurred a significant investment in my own training and coaching. Boy, it’s been a long time since I had the so-called “security” of a career as an employee!

Like many people, we lived beyond our means. We let the good times roll. When the unexpected happened (as the unexpected always will), we had no buffer. We seemed trapped with no way out.

Fast forward 12 years and sadly, our marriage broke down. This meant were faced with funding TWO households instead of one. I know that there are many people who stay in their marriage because it is not financially viable to do otherwise. I understand that – it’s not easy.

Around this time, quite by chance, I met Ann Wilson, known as the Wealth Chef. She’s a best-selling author and a “wealth guru” – a title that sounds trite, but which I assure you is well-deserved.

Ann has been my “wealth mentor” for 3 years now. Learning from her has transformed my life and relationship with money.

If I could have one wish about my “wealth”, it would be this – I wish I’d met Ann 20 years ago when I was still at University. 

Ann has just released a new video series and in it, she’s teaching some of the most valuable things I’ve learnt from her – things that have made a huge impact on my own mindset about wealth as well as my financial attitude, planning, aspirations – all of it!

In the videos, she’s going to share:

▪ How to create passive income stream businesses; (I do this now)
▪ How to invest safely and easily in the stock market; (I do this now)
▪ How to put our whole financial freedom plan together so we know we have everything covered; and (I am getting there with this!)
▪ How to get rid of limiting beliefs that have held us back in the past. (I am getting better and better at this!)

Ann is so committed to helping others live the greatest versions of our lives with money supporting us, so we can:

▪ Free ourself up from having to work harder and harder for money;
▪ Travel and experience more of life’s wonders;
▪ Spend more time with our family and friends;
▪ Contribute more to the things we feel passionate about; and
▪ Know we will be safe and secure in our old age.

It’s hard to put into words how deep an impact this woman has! There’s nothing sleazy or dubious about the way Ann teaches. It’s solid, sensible yet also life-changingly eye opening.

Go here to watch her free video and be sure to take lots of notes because she always gives huge value! However, just to warn you…her videos will only be up for a short time, so go watch it now before they come down!

Click here to watch this free teaching video now.

This is the stuff they should have taught us at school and which I’m starting to teach my boys – slowly but doggedly!

Please tell her I sent you in the comments!

 Here’s that link again

I was in Ireland on Mothers’ Day a few weeks ago; the boys were with their Dad back here in England.The trip to Ireland had been booked months before and I realised I’d be away from my boys for “the big day” only when I noticed the ubiquitous Mothers’ Day marketing messages everywhere a few weeks earlier.

Unfortunately, neither boys nor Dad are very good at remembering things like Mothers’ Day! And I forgot to remind their dad to remind them (anyone else do that?!) I didn’t even receive a text until I sent a snotty missive at midday to their Dad: “It’s Mothers’ Day you know! Not even a text!!!”

However, other than a bit of irritation, it didn’t consume much of my thoughts on the day or afterwards.

Let me tell you why it didn’t matter

I realised that I don’t measure my worth as a Mother or as a Woman based on how well I’m treated on that one day of the year.

Of course it would have been nice to find a card surreptitiously hidden in my suitcase, but that was never going to happen!! ☺

The reason why? I know how to cherish myself. And knowing how to do that helps me to have a high self worth.

Let me expand on that

On my self-belief masterclasses, one of the strategies that I share is this:

“Treat yourself as you would like to be treated by others”

What this means is that YOU have to learn to be kind to yourself. You have to identify your own needs and if necessary, meet those needs yourself first, rather than hoping others will do so for you. It’s wonderful when other people (especially partners or kids) make us “feel special”, but I want you to feel special whether you have those people in your life or not!

I teach this in the context of helping women to boost their self-belief. But it goes WAY beyond that. I believe that it is a key ingredient in being a resilient, happy and successful woman.

I was running my self-belief masterclass last Friday at The Cooperative Bank for their Aspire Career Network. I asked a question:

“Who has _never_ bought themselves a bunch of flowers?”

In this particular workshop, only a few hands went up, but usually there are a fair number of hands that rise in admission of never having bought themselves flowers.

NO!!!

Have you ever bought yourself flowers?

**I have spoken to a number of women over the past few weeks who are living through very challenging transitions** – serious illness, separation, divorce, bereavement.

**It’s at these times when our self-worth – and therefore our self-belief, takes a knocking**. And it’s at these times where looking after yourself in the way you’d LIKE someone else to look after you is a good habit to have got into beforehand.

One of the many things I’ve learnt since I separated is that it is essential that I cherish myself. When you’re alone in the house with 2 kids, you simply HAVE to because nobody else is going to!!

Some Ideas for Cherishing Yourself – and Increasing Your Own Self Worth

Here are the things that I do to met my own needs and remind me that I matter, that I’m worth the effort!

1. I cook a decent meal for myself when the boys aren’t with me, rather than just throwing something together “because it’s only me”
   Tonight is one of those evenings.. home made burgers, sweet potato wedges, baked tomatoes and avocado. I even garnished the tomato with a basil leaf! ☺
2. Dressing to feel good, with my make-up on, even if I’m working from home all day and not seeing anyone apart from the boys. I don’t do this every day, only when I feel the need – if I’m feeling a bit “frumpy”. When the boys see me “dressed for the office” they ask me “Where are you going?” and look at me strangely when I say “Nowhere!”
3. Going to bed early with a book when I’m tired and I just want to hide away from the World. This means resisting the urge to re-commence work after the boys are in bed as well as resisting the urge to look at fascinating things on Facebook!
4. Building a fire each evening and often lighting tea lights in the living room. Like most women, calm surroundings soothe me and the fire burning away helps me wind down in the evenings. Our wood burner is roaring every single night unless it’s summertime and the boys are expert fire starters! 🙂
5. And of course.. buying myself flowers.I haven’t done this for a while, but today, I was at the greengrocers and noticed some beautiful gerberas. I love bright colours and I remembered the question I had asked at the workshop on Friday.

YOU matter – YOU are worth the effort

The more you cherish yourself, the more you will increase your own self-worth.

So, what are you going to do for yourself?

Will you buy yourself a bunch of flowers? Get to bed early? Take yourself to a museum? Put your make-up on, even when you’re not going anywhere?

Start treating yourself as you’d like others to treat you!