Tag Archives for " Career "

• When will things turn around?!
• How much more do I have to endure before this gets easier?!
• Will I ever start making any real progress?!

I’ve been tuned in to the enormous power of acknowledgment ever since I left university and started work. Like most people, my general experience of acknowledgement has been from lack of it rather than abundance.

During my career as a Project Manager, I worked within a high pressure company culture where people were generally NOT routinely acknowledged for their work: it seemed that the only time someone noticed the work people did was when something went WRONG on a project. I recall submitting reports and the focus was always on the red and amber flags – very little time was spent acknowledging people’s hard work or positive results.

When I trained as a Coach, I learned about the importance of getting our needs met. In a personal development context, this means the needs above the basic Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Here’s a very quick and dirty introduction to why getting your personal needs met is so important: When human beings don’t identify their own personal needs and put processes in place to get them met, these needs tend to drive our behaviour. In turn, this propagates an unhealthy vicious cycle where we sub-consciously try to get our needs met. This ultimately holds us back from achieving our biggest dreams and goals.

A good analogy might be this: Imagine you want to get from A to B in a car. You’re determined to get to your destination and you keep putting your foot down on the accelerator. But you’re not getting anywhere because you’re also pressing the brake pedal at the same time. Getting your needs met is like taking your foot off the brake pedal so that the accelerator pedal can do it’s job and you can drive to your desired destination.

One of the core needs that almost EVERY person I’ve ever coached is the need for acknowledgement.

Back in 2006, I felt so strongly about the power of acknowledgement, that I submitted a proposal to a major high street bank for a workshop on acknowledging skills for managers. I wrote this proposal in response to so many of my clients expressing their unmet need for being acknowledged at work.

Acknowledgement in this context is about recognising something that someone has done; it’s the action of showing that we have noticed someone or something. And the power of acknowledgement in the workplace is the power to help people to flourish, to enhance their performance, to grow their confidence and create a virtuous circle of high performing, happy and fulfilled employees.

Let’s go back to my car journey analogy: If a company or organisation is like the car, then the unmet need for acknowledgement is the brake on the car stopping it from reaching its desired destination. When you build genuine acknowledgement into your company culture, not only are you taking your foot off the brake, you’re filling the car with turbo fuel to enhance the acceleration!

Professional athletes know that ongoing acknowledgement and celebration as well as cheers from their fans and encouragement from their team mates improves their performance. The power of acknowledgement is as useful to high performance in the office and raising confident kids as much as it is on the playing field.

It is an unfortunate fact that most company cultures constantly put the focus on what’s not working, on what needs to be fixed and what still needs to be completed. Whilst it’s important to fix and finish, I believe that taking the time to recognise and acknowledge people for the work they have done would act as a preventive measure and reduce the number of problems that get all of the focus.

Acknowledging is a powerful catalyst for action, but when it is absent, it leads to inaction, resentment and demotivation. Talented women and men who don’t feel valued vote with their feet. I know this because, during my years as a professional Coach, I’ve helped a fair few of them to walk elsewhere.

The power of acknowledgement is one of the most underrated and most important elements of leadership and of unleashing human potential. Whether I am coaching personal clients or corporate clients or whether I’m just going about my day-to-day life, acknowledgment is something that’s always been at the forefront of my mind. My radar is almost always switched on to spot opportunities to acknowledge people, whether it’s one of my boys at home, one of my clients or a waiter in a restaurant. It can be anywhere – close family member, colleague or stranger.

Last weekend I was in my beloved Lake District and I felt moved to talk about the power of acknowledgement at the top of Orrest Head in Windermere! I shot a Facebook Live which I’ve uploaded to my blog.

Click here to watch the video – You’ll hear hear me tell the story of the train conductor who seemed to grow a few inches taller after I acknowledged him, or my own recent story about being on the receiving end of acknowledgement for my own performance at work. And even better, you’ll also get to take in some of the finest views in England whilst you’re watching! 🙂

Click here to watch my Vlog on “The Power of Acknowledgement”

 I’d love to hear from you below in the comments.

• Do you feel acknowledged at work?
• Do you look out for opportunities to acknowledge your team or colleagues?
• Are you better at acknowledging your family than your colleagues? Or vice versa?
• And how about strangers? Do you go out of your way to acknowledge people you notice doing a great job, even if you feel a bit awkward doing so?

Welcome to the second part of my epic post on bold women! I started the post asking questions about being bold.

Questions like:

• What does “BOLD” look like?
• What kind of qualities does a “bold” woman have?
• What can we actually achieve in our own lives – and therefore have an impact on the whole world – by being bold?

My thoughts turned to the bold women I know – clients, friends and guests on my Inspiring Women Interviews podcast.

I started asking my Academy members and Stepping Up members about being bold.

In this post, you’ll read another 5 stories of bold women. I’m sure that there will be at least one that will stand out for you!

1. They ASK (rather than waiting to see if it will happen)

Griselda Togobo is the Managing Director of , an organisation that supports and connects women in business across the UK. I know Griselda well – I work with her as Forward Ladies’ Regional Director in the North West.

I interviewed Griselda for my podcast recently, and one of the things I wanted to learn from her was her ability to ask.

Before setting up Forward Ladies, Griselda worked for Deloitte Touche as an Accountant (and before that, she qualified as an Engineer!). She enjoyed her job and the long hours, but her husband also enjoyed his. This was an issue, as she was pregnant and she didn’t want to leave their new baby in the nursery for equally long hours, so she started to look at other options. Griselda discovered business blogging and business coaching whilst she was on maternity leave and she thought “I give advice to big companies already – I could do this!”

She started her business by just asking:

“I just put it out there that if anybody wanted a speak at an event, happy for you to invite me and I’ll speak. I got a few invites to speak at events and I got clients off the back of that. That quickly pulled me into starting the company and registering it and taking it seriously so that I had started the business even before my maternity was up.”

When Griselda finished her maternity, she spoke to her boss and said:

“I really want to come back, but I need flexible working because our family lifestyle is just too hectic and I feel guilty leaving a child in nursery all the time”. He said, “Well, the firm is going through a change and we need somebody in the office. You’re good in the teams…”.

So she handed him her resignation!

I love Griselda’s bold and down to earth “just ask” mentality! She puts this ability down to not being embarrassed to reach out to people and connect with people in a very genuine way. She simply says:

“Hey, I like what you’re doing. It looks really good. I’d like to know more”.

Bold women like Griselda have a genuine interest in people, what they might need and how they might be able to help them. This leads to the ability to ask. Bold women know the benefits of collaboration.

Bold women simply reach out and ask.

2. They are not afraid of their emotions (even the negative ones)

Billie Piper was interviewed by Chris Evans on his Radio Two breakfast show several weeks ago. He mischievously asked her about an award that she’s up for, as lead role in the play “Yerma”. He asked:

“What will you do when you lose to Glenda Jackson?!”

Billie answered:

“I don’t know, I’ll just roll with whatever emotions come up at the time”.

I loved this answer and it got me thinking about the importance of emotional intelligence. Bold women aren’t immune to negative emotions – they feel disappointment, upset, anger and despondency. But they allow their emotions to surface, without feeling ashamed of them, pushing them away or conversely, being defined by them.

Here’s the thing, there’s a lot of pressure from emotionally stunted people (and yes, there are a lot of them out there), to “just be positive” and “get over it” and “don’t feel down”. They are likely to say: “There there, I’m sure it will all work out fine – just put a smile on your face”, when your life has just imploded. Of course, they mean well – they don’t’ know what else to say!

But denying your emotions, trying to pretend you’re not feeling them, is not healthy, and ultimately, it doesn’t make you bold.

To be bold, you must accept and feel your emotions, even when those around you might not get it.

3. They pick themselves up when things go wrong and do something positive (even though they would prefer to hide under the duvet)

Sarah was very happy with her new life. Recently divorced, she’d met someone and things were going well.

Until one day, completely out of the blue, he dumped her!

She was shocked but, deep in her heart, she knew he was just a sticking plaster at the end of her marriage.

She was upset at the relationship’s sudden end, but she was determined not to let it plunge her into despair.

After allowing herself a couple of days to cry and feel the grief, she picked herself up and decided to focus on her business.

Even though she was still reeling from the impact of the sudden end to her relationship, she took a deep breath and re-negotiated her terms with her freelance clients and found them surprisingly open to the idea.

She knew that the increase was long overdue, and she still felt highly competitive in her work marketplace. She discovered that the bold move drew respect from her clients.

Sarah even stood her ground when one of her clients changed the brief halfway through, and secured full payment for her work upfront.

Sarah didn’t feel confident when she first renegotiated her terms – she was simply being courageous. But courage begets confidence, so, buoyed by her business success, her next positive move was to set about making her home her own – a secure and comfortable space where she could be herself.

A new bath, a bit of decorating and a few spring bulbs later and the sun emerged from behind the winter clouds. As the spring bulbs started to form new green shoots, Sarah emerged too, confident in her new life, secure and happy in her home, and ready to step boldly into new experiences ahead!

4. They are bold enough to stand up for what they believe in, even when they don’t like standing out

A few weeks before the European Referendum in the UK, in May 2016, I had already cast my vote for “Remain”, as I have a postal ballot.

I’ll resist the urge to digress and list my many objections to Brexit; suffice to say, I believe that the chances of global peace, wealth and wellbeing increase the more we are connected, and decrease when we are separated.

I was so worried about the outcome of the UK referendum, that I realised that simply casting my vote was not enough – I felt that it was my duty to do more. I couldn’t get upset about the outcome if I hadn’t at least done my bit to influence a positive result.

So I sought out “Remain” campaigners in my area and one day my friend Claire and I joined members from a local branch of the Labour party – the only party in my area that I could find who were canvassing for the “Remain” vote.

When we arrived at the town we were campaigning in, we found ourselves, as Remain campaigners, in a very small minority: We were vastly outnumbered by UKIP members, who were armed with stickers, badges, loudspeakers and banners. We tried to find a spot on the high street with our A5 leaflets, but wherever we went, we found ourselves surrounded by UKIP Brexit campaigners.

We behaved in the only way we knew how – with a smile and accosting passers-by as politely as we could. The response wasn’t, as you can probably guess, always polite or smiley back!

It was an eye-opener for me: At best, we felt as if most of the people we tried to speak to thought that we were sadly deluded. At worst, people were rude and ignorant. Again, I’ll resist the urge to digress into the kind of responses we got. The point is this:
It was the first time in my adult life where I have ever felt like a real outsider. People thought we were wrong, stupid and not like them. There is a natural urge for human beings to conform, to fit in with our ‘tribe’ and not to stand out. It was a very uncomfortable experience.

However, I’m proud that I did my tiny little bit for the Remain camp – I just wish I could have done more.

Since then, I have co-organised a demonstration outside my youngest son’s school to campaign for Fair Funding for Schools. To a lesser extent, it was still an experience in discomfort – in standing out in a way that might invite criticism. But it was much easier – and next time I decide to be a minority campaigner going against the popular local tide, it will be a bit easier. Because, once we’ve stretched outside our comfort zone, we create a new comfort zone that is bigger – and bolder!

Bold women don’t live their lives as passengers, keeping the things they care deeply about secret, just because people may not agree with them, or dislike them for having different beliefs or values.

Bold women might be fearful of standing up for what they believe in, but they will push themselves through that fear when it’s important to them – even when it means they stand out. In doing this, they become a bit stronger, a bit more courageous and a bit bolder. Each and every time.

5. They make courageous decisions (even though there’s always risk involved)

In 2015 Holly Ashford made the bold, some have even said stupid, decision to walk away from a highly successful 20-year corporate career to start her own business.

She’d had an idea, a dream, for many, many years of taking the skills she had in coaching and mentoring people together with her experience of interviewing hundreds of people for roles and designing and running her own assessment centres, and teaching them to university graduates so they too could be successful.

What started as an “itch” a few years ago, became something she couldn’t ignore, and coupled with a job she wasn’t enjoying and a feeling of being “stuck”, she decided it was the right time to leave. She knew if she didn’t do it then, then she never would. Holly said:

“if I never did then I’d never know if I could succeed at being my own boss and having more time and energy to devote to my 2 young boys.”

It’s easy to mistakenly believe that women who make bold decisions like Holly’s – quitting your career of 20 years to set up your own business from scratch – have some kind of special confidence that sets them apart. When you read it on the page, it sounds easy: “I made the decision to quit”.

Of course, there is always far more to any story like this than the headlines. Holly said:

“It sounds easy but it wasn’t. 2 years prior to that day we down-sized our house so that financial pressures wouldn’t become an issue, and I stuck the job out for 2 years in order to pay off a large chunk of our mortgage”.

Fast forward a year and a bit from the day she resigned, and Holly has her own company. She’s learnt new skills, such as building a website from scratch and creating online training courses. Holly says the bold move has been worth the learning curve:

“My brain feels alive for the first time in years. I’ve got comfortable with feeling uncomfortable – no mean feat for a complete control freak like me. I have no certainly over where the next £1 is coming from but it’s exciting figuring out what works and what doesn’t.

Our family life has benefited tin so many ways – my husband is able to pursue his dream job which wasn’t an option previously, I have a balance that I’ve never known before and the ability to attend all the school events for both my boys alongside building a business. We even have a family dog – something we could never have considered before!”

Bold women make courageous decisions that are certainly not easy, or even instant. But once they have made the leap into the discomfort zone, they discover that they are living their lives truly on purpose.

My latest Inspiring Women Interviews Podcast has just been broadcast on and . This episode is an interview with Tina Freed, founder of E2W and a champion of flexible working to support talent retention and attraction.

Tina has been helping highly talented women in the city to continue with their careers since 2002, when she and her husband formed E2W, a company with this objective as its primary driver.

Tina’s philosophy is:

“Flexible working is not an obstacle, it’s an opportunity – and we can prove it” 

Before setting up E2W Tina worked in the city within financial services for over 15 years. When she had a baby, she realised that the choice, then- 16 years ago – was to either have a child OR have a career – not both. But she didn’t think that was right, so she did something about it.

She saw a gap in the market –  the opportunity for people like her to continue working in the city AND to fulfil her aspirations as a mother were nonexistent, so she started her own business.  E2W was created so that Tina could be a mum without sacrificing her career.

She knew that she wasn’t alone in wanting this balance, so she set out to find a way to offer flexible working for women who wanted to develop their hard-earned careers and still be a mother.

She also felt that the city-based firms that she’d worked for could benefit from the experience of such women, and potentially it would be a much more cost-effective way of using these talented women.

Tina sought to tap into the big resource pool of mainly women who’d left the city when they were excluded from financial institutions, because those firms couldn’t offer that true work-life integration. E2W set up offices where the women lived, as opposed to where they were working. This obvious solution helped women to overcome the challenge of juggling the daily commute with childcare.

Tina understands that flexibility means different things to different people. Some want to work short days, some want to work 3 long days. For others, an ideal flexible working week might be a traditional 9-5 day, simply because they are currently working 6pm -11pm.

Whatever people’s definition of flexibility, the point is that there are may different patterns that companies can put in place to enable women to continue to work. It starts with thinking creatively.

 “Some of our employees work 9:30 to 2:30, and they do as much in five hours as they would if they went into the city and worked eight hours.”

Many women in middle management face career stagnation, not advancing because of a fearful mindset about the scarcity of opportunities for professionals that also advocate flexible working patterns.

These talented women feel that they can’t leave their current company or seek promotion, because they won’t be able to retain the same level of flexibility they’ve enjoyed.  There is a commonly held belief that flexible working patterns are only offered to those who have served their time and proven their loyalty.  This results in many talented women staying in roles that they have outgrown, simply because they see it as the lesser of two evils.

Challenging a limiting mindset is one of my favourite things to do as a Coach, and it’s also a big driver behind me launching the Inspiring Women Interviews podcast. I want women to learn from role models who have proven that it IS possible to combine a great career with having a life!

I’ve coached many such women over the years and I know that the only way around this is to challenge them to be courageous. Often easier said than done, of course, especially when well-intentioned family and friends reinforce the fearful belief.

My clients frequently tell me that their partners or parents urge them to keep their head down and make the most of it –

“You’ve got a good thing going here, it’s not that bad – don’t rock the boat”.

We need to actively support and encourage more women to challenge the status quo, perceived or otherwise. Ultimately it is up to them. This requires courage and often a suspension of disbelief, but also confidence in their abilities.

Tina agrees: She encourages women to thinks about what they can offer, how they might be able to support a new company, and to position themselves from this perspective.

“It’s about saying, ‘Look, I’m valuable. I have lots to offer. I have lots of experience that you would benefit from. For me to be able to do this, I would like to work in a flexible way. Flexibility to me means … Whatever it is’.”

I encourage the women I support to change their internal language from:

“But why would they employ me and offer me flexible working?”

to

“Why wouldn’t you employ me? Because I can do this role and make a valuable contribution.”

Attracting and retaining middle management women is crucially important to filling the leadership talent pipeline. There’s an onus on companies  to give these women explicit permission to  step up and fulfil their potential. This means that employers need to be open-minded and creative about flexible working and communicate this position loudly and clearly.

But equally as important is the onus on women themselves.  They need to take a deep breath, screw their courage to the sticking place and step up.  Try this for a career affirmation…

“Flexible working is not an obstacle, it’s an opportunity – and I can prove it”

And then… go and prove it!

This week, our guest post is from Jennifer Baker. Jennifer will also be running a masterclass for The Academy for Talented Women on How to Discover Your Perfect Career. Read how you can join us at the end of the post.

“One of the greatest tragedies of life is that so many men and women go to their graves with the music still in them” Oliver Wendell Holmes (US Supreme Court Justice 1841-1935)

Work is one of the most significant and time-consuming elements of many people’s lives. It is also the area of their life where people most often feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled. The average person will spend 40 to 50 years of their life at work – that is too long to spend in the wrong job.

The last time most of us had any career advice was either at school or university. Discussions were invariably centred on vocational type qualifications and which organisations provided the best graduate training.

We set out on a career path with a clear starting point, a vague mid phase and, beyond that, usually the complete unknown. Yet promotions follow, headhunters call, offers are accepted, and life goes on.

Then at some point – often triggered by a change in personal circumstances, such as a big birthday or significant external event such as redundancy or restructure – we reach a career crossroads.

So, we must take stock of where we are and think about where we would like to be and understand what it will take to get there. We need to examine our skills, marketability and personal preferences, then decide what to do next and develop a strategy to make it happen.

Coach Yourself: 5 Questions to Ask yourself at a career crossroads

Whether you find there are too many difficult choices or feel that you haven’t found your “niche”, one of the best things you can do to get a bit more clarity is by asking yourself a few incisive questions. Asking yourself these questions won’t magically give you the answer. However, they will get you to start thinking outside of the box.

1. Would I be happy to continue what I am doing for the rest of my working life?
2. What would I need to do to assess the feasibility of a change of career direction?
3. What would I do if earning money wasn’t important?
4. How could I make the transition? (Brainstorm at least 5 ideas, no matter how outlandish!)
5. How could I get back into the job market, and quickly, if I absolutely had to?

Our career priorities can change at different times during our life. Many people go through a re-evaluation process, especially after a traumatic event. So if you feel you’ve lost your sense of direction, why not take stock of things? If the day-to-day work no longer fulfills or interests you, it could be time to move on before your morale takes a nose-dive.

To a certain extent the degree of satisfaction you get from your work is within your control – and taking control of itself can cause a great sense of satisfaction.

Think about what it is you want. Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time?

If a lack of job satisfaction is affecting your emotional well-being, then you need to take decisive action. You need to think about which direction you’d like to be heading in and whether it is achievable, but most of all if will it enrich your working life. Ask yourself what your priorities are in a job.

Think about times when you have felt satisfied – and why – and think of the low points and how you can avoid repeating them.

• Are reputation and status important to you?
• Do you want responsibility?
• Authority?
• Creative control?
• Do you have new ideas you’d like to try – or any additional duties you could assume?

These are all things to consider.

Research shows that those who are most satisfied and motivated by their work are in careers which reflect who they really are; careers which reflect their true nature and their real passions; careers which draw on their natural strengths and employ their favourite skills; careers which allow them to complement their deeply-held values.

What is The Academy for Talented Women?

Imagine a virtual “gym”, but a gym where, instead of working on your fitness, you work on your mindset, your skill set and your life!  Now imagine you don’t have to travel to that gym and you can access it from anywhere in the World – on your computer, your tablet or your phone.

Imagine that, instead of signing up for a Zumba or a Spinning Class, you could go to a class on, for example..

• How to Declutter Your Home
• How to Deal with Conflict at Work
• How to Boost Your Energy When You Have No Time
• How to be Incredibly Confident at Work

or even…

• How Not to Divorce Your Husband (YES! We do have that class!)

And let’s say you could sign up to do that class at the time it’s scheduled. But if you missed it, it wouldn’t matter, because you could simply do the class by yourself, at any time of the day or night to suit YOUR schedule!

The Academy for Talented Women has been created and built by me, Amanda Alexander. And I created it from having coached hundreds of working mums over many years.  I know that, for a woman to be successful, there are many elements of her life that have to work – and they have to work in harmony.  That’s why I built The Academy is around 3 pillars of a working woman’s life:

– Your Career
– Your Life
– You

Would you like to coached, but it’s too expensive?

I believe that getting coaching with a GOOD Coach is an invaluable investment in your career and your life. It certainly changed my life for the better when I first worked with a Coach back in 2002! But what if funds simply won’t stretch to your own Coach? I get that – even if you’re earning a good salary, after food is paid for, kids’ activities are paid for, the phone bill, the council tax bill and the boiler you’ve just had to replace.. you quite understandably might see coaching as a luxury that you literally can’t afford.

But what if you COULD get access to a GOOD Coach without the usual price tag? In fact, what if you could access not just a GOOD Coach but a multi-award winning, highly experienced Coach who was accredited as Professional Certified Coach with the ICF? That’ll be me then! (You can read more about me here).

That’s why I included a monthly “drop in” coaching call” within The Academy membership. It’s usually held during “lunch hour” from 12.30 to 1.30 pm BST, with the odd evening call at 8.30 pm BST.  But if you can’t make it to the call, you still get to ask a question beforehand.

The idea of the coaching calls is – if you’re stuck, you need an idea, motivation or inspiration, I’m here for you.

Precious Little Time for Personal Development or Investing in Yourself?

The Academy has also been created to allow you to access learning, development and support when it suits YOU.  I understand how busy you are – so am I!  I understand that, for you to invest in yourself and your career, you are probably going to do so in pockets of time, often whilst multi-tasking. So do I!

That’s why I created an online members’ area with all the Academy’s fantastic masterclasses, coaching sessions and online life coaching course under one roof!

For me, it’s about the right kind of support

None of us can do it alone. Whether your goal is to change your career, get a promotion or even leave your career and go it alone, you need support. Or maybe you’re just struggling to keep up with the fast pace of life – you need support (and practical strategies).  You need someone who can be your cheerleader when the going gets tough, who can be your advisor when you’re stuck and who can hold up a mirror to  show you how capable you really are, when you have lost sight of the fact.

I created The Academy for Talented Women to give you the support you need in order to be successful. Whether it’s in our warm and friendly private Facebook group, in our monthly coaching calls or even at our annual “Stepping Up” live event (yes, you even get a live event!),  The Academy for Talented Women is all about providing you with the right kind of support you need to be successful, fulfilled and balanced.
How do you join?

You pay a monthly subscription via PayPal or your credit card. You can leave at any time. There is no “minimum contract”. There are NO catches.  You can get the full details about The Academy and join here. 
I look forward to supporting you!