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What happens when you really go for it? Stepping outside your comfort zone
By amandaalexander | Courage
By amandaalexander | Courage
It might be career related, business related or something else.
What is that thing you really want?
I’ll start, shall I?…
I want to take “me” – which means my business – to a much bigger audience. I want to get, FAR more women, to stop doubting themselves and start living more daringly. I want to see them achieve things they never thought they could.
Why? Because this brings me FULFILMENT. It’s my way of making a difference in the world.
I do it with my weekly posts, my occasional videos, my coaching programmes, my workshops – and it touches a few of you. I want to touch more, on a bigger scale.
I also want my fabulous business to support me and my family in my journey towards financial freedom. A few more zeros on my end of year accounts would be grand, as well!
So I have my vision, I have my why – both on a macro and on a personal level.
But what’s next, after we’ve dared to utter what we really, really want?
Well, as you know, I’m a great believer in taking baby steps to achieve big goals. You may have already read my post on the magic of daily habits and downloaded my free Daily Habits Workbook last week. Daily habits are indeed a big part of the equation.
Assuming we’ve got clear on what we really want to achieve and we’ve started taking baby steps, with the aid of our daily habits, what else do we need to do?
Well, at some point, if you have a BIG goal, the pace is going to increase, the stakes are going to rise, things are going to get REAL.
At some point, you’re going to have to hold your nose, take a deep breath and jump into the zone of discomfort!
Winston says:
“There is always much to be said for not attempting more than you can do and for making a certainty of what you try. But this principle, like others in life and war, has it exceptions.”
If your thing is big – as mine is – then you’re going to have to work very hard indeed.
I always think that the phrase “hard work” hides a multitude of sins. I remember people telling me, when I was expecting Max (now 14), that labour would be “hard work”. Well, I can tell you that the phrase hard work bore no relation to the actual experience of hard work when I was in labour.
Real hard work towards your big goal is a bit like childbirth. You have no idea what it means until you’re in the throes of it.
In other words, it’s not real until it’s real!
I’ve been putting the hours in these past few weeks, on a steep learning curve wondering frequently “How on EARTH am I going to achieve all of these things?”
Winston says:
“Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.”
At multiple points, not just once, when you are working hard, it will be so hard you’ll think:
“I don’t know if I’ve got what it takes”
“I’m not clever enough”
“I don’t know if I have enough time/energy/motivation”
This self-doubt can be debilitating and wastes a lot of energy, meaning you have to catch up on more of that hard work!
By the way, if you haven’t seen it already, I’ve got a free webinar next week about how to deal with this self-doubt. Click here to sign up to “Doubt Yourself and Do It Anyway” or see details at the bottom of the post!
Self-doubt and I battle it out frequently. I have been experiencing self-doubt a fair bit this week whilst trying to shoot a video to promote Doubt Yourself and Do It Anyway. I lost count of how many takes I did – it must have been at least 40! There was a lot of swearing, a lot of self-criticism and according to the bloke, a lot of body dysmorphia.
Winston says:
“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.”
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. But what if you’re not tough? Please refer to point 2 – self doubt!
When you start working hard, you will inevitably come across things you don’t understand, things that you don’t like doing and things that you want to give up on.
My story: Facebook Ads. Oh. My. God. Trying to figure out the Facebook Ads “Power Editor”, even with a step by step video guide, took me right back to being a kid who didn’t understand maths. I just wanted to GIVE UP.
Yesterday evening, I cancelled my exercise class and told the bloke to go without me. I carried on working through – for another 3 hours. It was painful as in childbirth pushing stage painful! I wanted to give up, more than once.
Winston says:
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
When you are “upping your game” and stepping up, you are going to have to step outside of your comfort zone. And it’s called “comfort zone” for a reason. It’s comfortable – not scary. Ergo, being OUTSIDE your comfort zone means – you are scared.
You will feel as if you’re in a light aircraft, all kitted up with a parachute, waiting for the plane to get to the correct height. You know that very soon, it’s decision time. Your instructor will open that door, position you at the edge and count down.
This is the point at which you have a choice. You can decide NOT to jump. The great thing abut this is that you’ll be safe, because you haven’t taken the risk that comes with jumping out of a plane with some silk strapped to your back!
But if you make that choice, you’ll never know what it would have been like to leap from that aeroplane. You will never feel the achievement of having faced your fear and doing it anyway. And you will probably beat yourself up for not having had the courage to step up (or jump!)
At this point, if you decide you ARE going to jump, you will be terrified like you’ve never been terrified before!!
Thoughts like this will race through your head…
“Why did I EVER embark on this journey? What on earth was I thinking?”
“Am I going to fall flat on my face?” (Or worse if you ARE actually jumping out of a plane)
“What if all of this is for nothing?”
“What am I going to do it I fail?”
and
“I WANT MY MUMMY!”
When you jump, you really jump. And there’s nobody else with you. That moment of decision is yours and yours alone. There will be cheerleaders, supporters – before and after – but the only person who can make the jump is YOU. And that’s the really scary bit. That’s the bit where you have to screw your courage to the sticking place and just do it.
I can tell you, I feel as if I’m free falling right now. I keep reminding myself to breathe. I keep focusing on the sky instead of the ground. I am waiting for that chute to open.
Winston says:
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
If you really want something badly enough, it’s worth the fear, it’s worth the self-doubt and it’s worth the hard work. It’s worth those moments of being utterly fed up and wanting to give up.
Being outside of your comfort zone is more than a trendy phrase used in self-development. Behind those 2 words is your own personal roller coaster. But it’s far better to get on that roller coaster and experience the ride in all its glory, than to stay on the side and wonder:
“What might have been?”
So there you go! Now you know what to expect when you step outside your comfort zone.
And you can do this…
Because you are brave, you are purposeful, you are not alone and you WILL keep going.
And it will be worth it.
Winston says:
“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never”
