Have you seen any of those provocative memes on social media that warn people not to mention Christmas until 1st December?

I don’t comment that I covertly started buying my first Christmas presents in October, when I happened to see an advert in a paper for toys that I thought my nieces would enjoy.

When my youngest son mentioned an author he likes, I checked Amazon one evening and pre-ordered his latest book for Christmas from shhh.. you know who. Also in October.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those incredibly organised people who finishes all their Christmas shopping by 1st November and who has written, addressed and stamped all their cards ready to be sent on 30th November.

But I AM a woman who is mum to two boys and aunt to three girls.

And I am also a woman who thinks about what we’re going to eat every evening and who plans, shops, cooks.

I am a woman who suddenly remembers, smack bang in the middle of my working day, that my youngest son mentioned his friend’s birthday party next Saturday. Who emails the boy’s mum to ask for details, because the party invitation has gone astray.

I am a woman who makes packed lunches every day and constantly reminds them to pick up their towels, make their beds and clean their teeth. I am a woman who drives her eldest son to football practice, with 15 minute notice, because he’d really like to go.

And as well as all that, I am a woman who runs a business full time.

In short, I’m a woman who is constantly trying to get things done.

So when I see those social media memes that tease people who start thinking about Christmas in November, I quietly wonder if their life might be a little less jam-packed than mine!

I suspect you will get this completely! Whether you start thinking about Christmas in November or not!

Because for so many women who are always trying to get things done, particularly at this time of year, the dial is turned up high on freneticism.

The danger is that you constantly feel as if you are falling behind or that you have not done enough.

You might feel that you are somehow not efficient, fast, smart, disciplined, organised enough. You may have a running commentary in your head at the end of the day chiding yourself for what you DIDN’T get round to.

The multitude of amazing mini achievements that you DID clock up are mentally ticked off without a second thought. You probably rarely stop to acknowledge yourself.

The cumulative impact of feeling like you’ve never quite come up to scratch is insidious. Mental self-flagellation becomes a painful habit. It’s as if you are fighting the same battle day in day out, that always ends in defeat and despondency. How can you ever catch up? Get it all done? When will you ever be enough?

So I wanted to give you, as another woman who is always trying to get things done, a little gift in this week’s post. It’s actually a very precious gift.

It’s called “enoughness”

I’m giving you explicit permission to tell yourself that, whatever you did, or did not achieve this week, it was absolutely enough. And that most importantly, YOU are enough.

Let me repeat that:

You have DONE enough.
You ARE enough.

Here is one of the most comforting, reassuring and empowering quotes I have ever read for busy women like you, who achieve so much each day. It’s from Brene Brown. I’ve printed this out and stuck it on my office wall. I read it at the end of every day. I am sharing it to remind you of the gift of “enoughness”:

“Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. it’s about cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough”

Enjoy your gift of enoughness at the end of today. Give yourself a pat on the back and ​tell yourself: “I have done enough today. And I AM enough”

If you’ve enjoyed this post, please use the social media share buttons to pass on the gift of enoughness to all those other busy women!

Before writing this post, I sought advice from a few wise women.  I did this because I felt compelled to “speak my truth”, but I wasn’t sure if I SHOULD!

One of those wise women was Heather Bestel, founder of The Happiness Garden.

Heather said:

“I think you have two choices: share your truth or don’t share your truth. It’s that simple. If you share your truth, you will lose subscribers and you may get trolls.

If you don’t share your truth, you will feel that you haven’t stepped up and been courageous when you believe you should be.

Whatever you do needs to be right for you. You already know the consequences. So, now it’s a question of choice. If you go one way, you’ll need to be prepared for other people’s feelings. And if you go the other, you’ll have to be prepared to deal with yours.”

 

Why I’m sharing my truth

“Get naked with your truth, offering the world your greatest gift: your authentic self.” -Gabrielle Bernstein

I’ve made my choice: I’m sharing my truth. I’m doing so because I want to inspire you to step up, be courageous and to speak YOUR truth. Because your services to this world are required!

I urge all my clients to live purposefully, not accidentally, but we can’t do that whilst being complacent and letting other people do the scary stuff that makes a difference. Living purposefully does not come with a guarantee that everybody will like us.

We can’t step up whilst keeping our heads down. And when we do step up, we’ve got to keep going: We can’t step up and stay within our comfort zone – we’ve got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. We can’t change the world, live our life purposefully or step up into our brilliance by doing nothing, keeping our head down and saying “it’s not my bag”.

And we can’t tell our kids to be brave and “go for it” whilst shrinking in fear ourselves.

 

Let’s get the truth speaking out of the way!

Like billions of others, I am reeling from this week’s US presidential election results. I am aghast that so many people have voted for a man who has such blatant disregard for PEOPLE. I am intensely concerned for the World we live in;  worried that the racists, bigots, misogynists and haters have been granted carte blanche to come out of the closet.

I have spoken my truth! But this aside, let’s make no bones about it – the World is volatile and uncertain right now. Which means that we need talented men and women to stand up and get their talents out into the World.  (I wrote about this on Wednesday in my guest blog for The International Coach Federation – “Coaching in a Volatile and Uncertain World”.)

 

So here are three things you can do now – and from this day forward to help the world. AND be happy whilst you’re at it!

 

Three Things You Can Do NOW to Help the World AND Be Happy

The world needs you in all your uniqueness and with all your talents. The world needs you to step up, live your best life and embrace it more than ever. Here’s how you can help the world AND be happy:

1. Speak your truth

“What if you had the courage to speak up?”

Speaking your truth is about being in alignment with your core values and standing up for what you believe in: It does not mean shoving your opinions down other people’s throats – you can speak your truth kindly and elegantly. The distinction is assertive versus aggressive. I hope you’ll notice that in this post, I have spoken my own truth succinctly and resisted the urge to rant!

As you’ve also read, it’s flippin’ scary to speak your truth – as my friend Heather says, you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences: “The haters are gonna hate”.

You’ll need courage, but if you don’t speak your truth, if you leave it to someone else, then what? How many people are also “leaving it to someone else”?

You’ll find an excellent short article on speaking your truth on Oprah’s website .

 

2. Live your life fearlessly

“Do one thing every day that scares you”

Living fearlessly is not quite what I mean: We all feel fear, but we need to keep practising feeling the fear  – and doing it anyway.

I want you to live your life fearlessly, because fear is the biggest baddy of them all: Fear trumps Trump.

Fear endeavoured to stop me writing this post. Fear endeavoured to stop one of my clients from picking up the phone to speak to a recruitment consultant this week. Fear endeavours to keep us small, quiet and complacent. When good people let fear win, bad things happen and lives are never fully lived.

 

I had to make a difficult phone call earlier this week. I sat with my finger poised on the dial button of my phone for several minutes. The little voice of fear inside my head gave me plenty of excuses:

• You can do this tomorrow
• You won’t get a good reception. Wait until you’re in a better area. Tomorrow.
• Send an email instead. Tomorrow.

But I made the call, because there’s another voice in my head that I’ve trained well. Eventually that other voice piped up: 

“FFS! Amanda, get your big girl knickers on and MAKE THE DAMN PHONE CALL”

So I faced the fear head on and made the call.  And the fear disappeared.  

You don’t need me to tell you that the only way to live fearlessly is to face up to fear. But the only way you can do that is practice. So keep practising and you’ll notice the fear melt away. It won’t ever completely go, but you’ll be able to dance with it rather than shrink from it.

 

3. Practice random acts of kindness every day

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do”

 

Many “ordinary” people feel powerless in the face of World events and politics, but we are NOT powerless.

In a volatile and uncertain world, we have a choice: We can either give up and become victims, subject to the whims of those in power. Or, we can do what we can. When many people take many small positive actions, change happens. And what could be a simpler way to change the world in our own little way than through random acts of kindness?

• Have you ever let the person behind you in the supermarket queue go before you, even when there was more in their trolley than yours?
• Have you ever sent someone a card to tell them how much you appreciate them and why?
• Have you ever picked up litter and taken it home?

These are just a few examples of random acts of kindness. Performing random acts of kindness is one of the best ways you can help the world AND feel on top of the world at the same time!

On Wednesday, I did something I’ve never done before: At the end of my Forward Ladies business breakfast meeting in Manchester, there was a lot of food left over – about 40 freshly baked bagels with cream cheese and prosciutto. I asked the manager if we could wrap them up in individual packages so that I could give them out to homeless people. He was so kind – he helped me to wrap them and gave me a plastic vegetable basket to carry them. I ventured out with the basket of goodies into the city centre feeling a bit nervous. I was actually nervous about other people looking at me, and I didn’t know what reaction I’d get.

I needn’t have worried. Each of the homeless people I offered those bagels to accepted and thanked me graciously. This little exercise made me put my own fears about “the next 4 years” into perspective.  I am so fortunate – I have never been in a position where a stranger has offered me their leftover sandwiches wrapped in tin foil. I might have created fearful thoughts about what the future might hold, but I am not homeless. My fear was all in my head – the people I spoke to were living the fear.

Be the change the World needs by bringing your gifts into the world, facing your fears, speaking your truth and doing what you can.  

 

This week, our guest post is from Jennifer Baker. Jennifer will also be running a masterclass for The Academy for Talented Women on How to Discover Your Perfect Career. Read how you can join us at the end of the post.

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“One of the greatest tragedies of life is that so many men and women go to their graves with the music still in them” Oliver Wendell Holmes (US Supreme Court Justice 1841-1935)

Work is one of the most significant and time-consuming elements of many people’s lives. It is also the area of their life where people most often feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled. The average person will spend 40 to 50 years of their life at work – that is too long to spend in the wrong job.

The last time most of us had any career advice was either at school or university. Discussions were invariably centred on vocational type qualifications and which organisations provided the best graduate training.

We set out on a career path with a clear starting point, a vague mid phase and, beyond that, usually the complete unknown. Yet promotions follow, headhunters call, offers are accepted, and life goes on.

Then at some point – often triggered by a change in personal circumstances, such as a big birthday or significant external event such as redundancy or restructure – we reach a career crossroads.

So, we must take stock of where we are and think about where we would like to be and understand what it will take to get there. We need to examine our skills, marketability and personal preferences, then decide what to do next and develop a strategy to make it happen.

Coach Yourself: 5 Questions to Ask yourself at a career crossroads

Whether you find there are too many difficult choices or feel that you haven’t found your “niche”, one of the best things you can do to get a bit more clarity is by asking yourself a few incisive questions. Asking yourself these questions won’t magically give you the answer. However, they will get you to start thinking outside of the box.

1. Would I be happy to continue what I am doing for the rest of my working life?
2. What would I need to do to assess the feasibility of a change of career direction?
3. What would I do if earning money wasn’t important?
4. How could I make the transition? (Brainstorm at least 5 ideas, no matter how outlandish!)
5. How could I get back into the job market, and quickly, if I absolutely had to?

Our career priorities can change at different times during our life. Many people go through a re-evaluation process, especially after a traumatic event. So if you feel you’ve lost your sense of direction, why not take stock of things? If the day-to-day work no longer fulfills or interests you, it could be time to move on before your morale takes a nose-dive.

To a certain extent the degree of satisfaction you get from your work is within your control – and taking control of itself can cause a great sense of satisfaction.

Think about what it is you want. Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time?

If a lack of job satisfaction is affecting your emotional well-being, then you need to take decisive action. You need to think about which direction you’d like to be heading in and whether it is achievable, but most of all if will it enrich your working life. Ask yourself what your priorities are in a job.

Think about times when you have felt satisfied – and why – and think of the low points and how you can avoid repeating them.

• Are reputation and status important to you?
• Do you want responsibility?
• Authority?
• Creative control?
• Do you have new ideas you’d like to try – or any additional duties you could assume?

These are all things to consider.

Research shows that those who are most satisfied and motivated by their work are in careers which reflect who they really are; careers which reflect their true nature and their real passions; careers which draw on their natural strengths and employ their favourite skills; careers which allow them to complement their deeply-held values.

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What is The Academy for Talented Women?

Imagine a virtual “gym”, but a gym where, instead of working on your fitness, you work on your mindset, your skill set and your life!  Now imagine you don’t have to travel to that gym and you can access it from anywhere in the World – on your computer, your tablet or your phone.

Imagine that, instead of signing up for a Zumba or a Spinning Class, you could go to a class on, for example..

• How to Declutter Your Home
• How to Deal with Conflict at Work
• How to Boost Your Energy When You Have No Time
• How to be Incredibly Confident at Work

or even…

• How Not to Divorce Your Husband (YES! We do have that class!)

And let’s say you could sign up to do that class at the time it’s scheduled. But if you missed it, it wouldn’t matter, because you could simply do the class by yourself, at any time of the day or night to suit YOUR schedule!

The Academy for Talented Women has been created and built by me, Amanda Alexander. And I created it from having coached hundreds of working mums over many years.  I know that, for a woman to be successful, there are many elements of her life that have to work – and they have to work in harmony.  That’s why I built The Academy is around 3 pillars of a working woman’s life:

– Your Career
– Your Life
– You

Would you like to coached, but it’s too expensive?

I believe that getting coaching with a GOOD Coach is an invaluable investment in your career and your life. It certainly changed my life for the better when I first worked with a Coach back in 2002! But what if funds simply won’t stretch to your own Coach? I get that – even if you’re earning a good salary, after food is paid for, kids’ activities are paid for, the phone bill, the council tax bill and the boiler you’ve just had to replace.. you quite understandably might see coaching as a luxury that you literally can’t afford.

But what if you COULD get access to a GOOD Coach without the usual price tag? In fact, what if you could access not just a GOOD Coach but a multi-award winning, highly experienced Coach who was accredited as Professional Certified Coach with the ICF? That’ll be me then! (You can read more about me here).

That’s why I included a monthly “drop in” coaching call” within The Academy membership. It’s usually held during “lunch hour” from 12.30 to 1.30 pm BST, with the odd evening call at 8.30 pm BST.  But if you can’t make it to the call, you still get to ask a question beforehand.

The idea of the coaching calls is – if you’re stuck, you need an idea, motivation or inspiration, I’m here for you.

Precious Little Time for Personal Development or Investing in Yourself?

The Academy has also been created to allow you to access learning, development and support when it suits YOU.  I understand how busy you are – so am I!  I understand that, for you to invest in yourself and your career, you are probably going to do so in pockets of time, often whilst multi-tasking. So do I!

That’s why I created an online members’ area with all the Academy’s fantastic masterclasses, coaching sessions and online life coaching course under one roof!

For me, it’s about the right kind of support

None of us can do it alone. Whether your goal is to change your career, get a promotion or even leave your career and go it alone, you need support. Or maybe you’re just struggling to keep up with the fast pace of life – you need support (and practical strategies).  You need someone who can be your cheerleader when the going gets tough, who can be your advisor when you’re stuck and who can hold up a mirror to  show you how capable you really are, when you have lost sight of the fact.

I created The Academy for Talented Women to give you the support you need in order to be successful. Whether it’s in our warm and friendly private Facebook group, in our monthly coaching calls or even at our annual “Stepping Up” live event (yes, you even get a live event!),  The Academy for Talented Women is all about providing you with the right kind of support you need to be successful, fulfilled and balanced.
How do you join?

You pay a monthly subscription via PayPal or your credit card. You can leave at any time. There is no “minimum contract”. There are NO catches.  You can get the full details about The Academy and join here. 
I look forward to supporting you!

In this day and age of self actualisation, you will hear a lot about the importance of having big goals. You will hear from Coaches (like me!) and celebrity motivational experts like Tony Robbins that you can have anything you want and that you just have to decide what it is that you want. You will hear that as soon as you’ve achieved clarity, you’re half way there! Easy! You will hear that by having a clear and juicy vision of your life, career or business, you simply have to work backwards and identify the steps.

And then – well – it’s just a matter of taking those steps, isn’t it?
Job done.
Big dream achieved.

Well, not quite that simple.

All the above is true – I DO believe you can pretty much have/be/do anything you want. I also believe that getting very clear on your big juicy goal is important – because that dictates which steps you’re going to take.

But the bad news is, deciding what you want and getting clear on what that looks like is NOT the hardest bit.Continue reading

I was at an event last weekend and I asked 2 female millionaires this question:

“What differentiates you – as millionaires – from others? What are the attitudes you have or the things that you do differently that have helped you to become millionaires?

They each had different answers. But there’s one thing they both said and it stood out very clearly to me:

They both said that no matter what, they keep taking action. Even when they don’t know what to do, they take the next action – any action.

After the event, another successful woman messaged me on Facebook. Her name is Jane Cassell and she runs a company called JC Independent Wills & Probate. Incidentally, she’s also the woman who is about to write my will (she is brilliant)!

This is what she said:

“You asked a great question on Saturday evening – characteristic / distinction. My answer to that question is action. Without a doubt, action. We continue to take action, even when we’re tired, and life gets too busy to take action. We still take action.”

But it’s not the millionaires or even the brilliant Jane Cassell who have inspired this week’s post. It’s a lady called Lyn, who emailed me this week after attending my “Set Backs and Stepping Up” presentation for The Global Women in Leadership Summit. She thanked me for my session telling me it had made a huge difference to her. She described herself as “the stereotypical shy person in a room full of strangers”.

Despite being a stereotypical shy person, this is what Lyn did after my presentation:

“I have genuinely spent the last few days thinking about all the things I can do in order to connect with people – I’ve accepted an invitation to an event; I’ve started my Fabulous 50 list; I’ve contacted 7 people so far, from that list; I’ve been through my Outlook contacts to see who else I should be speaking to!

I’ve also applied for a job I saw advertised online – it was one of the headline jobs in an email, I took a look and decided to send off my CV – usually I would have agonised over whether or not to send it, and whether or not I’m actually capable of doing that role. I used to spend an hour a day poring over the websites, trying to find something that I can do (without a degree!). Today, I just thought, ooh that looks good, it’s in London, it’s a better salary (and different level) to what I usually look at; I’m sending my CV! I have just proved to myself that I don’t have to spend hours overthinking these things – and that’s probably a bigger deal than the actual application!!”

Did you read that last bit? I’ll repeat it, just in case!

“I’m sending my CV..I don’t have to spend hours overthinking these things.”

Wow! How’s that for a bit of weekend inspiration, eh?!

Quite simply, Lyn took action. Even though she’s shy. And I bet you agree when I say that she’s got a big chance of getting the job she wants because of taking these actions.

We can talk ourselves to death about WHY we don’t take action – too shy, lack of self-belief, don’t have time, no energy, don’t know what to do, don’t have the support, don’t know where to start, too tired at the end of the day.

There’s some tough love coming with this week’s post. Let’s cut through the c**p and get straight to the point: In brief, you gotta take action!

How do you do that? Well let’s imagine you don’t have ANY excuses – what is one action you COULD take towards your goal?

Now do it!

And then…

Rinse and repeat.

But maybe you really DO have a valid reason for not taking action? Let’s deal with that now, shall we? 🙂

Take for example this common and understandable reason amongst busy women with multiple responsibilities:

“I’m too tired at the end of the day”.

OK – I get that. Don’t we all? 🙂

But if you have a goal and you really want to achieve success, whether it’s with your career, your money, your relationship or anything else in your life, you’re going to have to take action anyway, even if you’re too _____________ (fill in the blank with your excuse)!

If you don’t know where to start, just start anywhere. Do it EVEN IF….

Keep taking action – just like Jane, just like Lyn and just like those millionaires.

I was like a pressure cooker maxing out… I’d kept on going. I’d slogged my guts out and felt as if I wasn’t getting anywhere. I had worked long and hard, not had enough sleep and it felt that life was always accelerating, forcing me to do more and more, faster and faster.

I suspect you probably know exactly what I mean.

I think the pressure had been building for many months! This year, I feel as if I have worked my little socks off to take my precious business to the next level – and I’m not quite there yet!

If we were rewarded in proportion to the hours, heart and soul we put into our work, most of us would surely be sitting on a million bucks right now!

I bet you’ve had your fair share of challenges as well. What are YOU dealing with? What is stressful about your life right now? What is taking your attention or demanding your energy, I wonder?

Let’s face it – we are ALL dealing with stuff. Every single one of us. I know this because one of the things I do on a daily basis is listen to people.

You only have to scratch the surface to discover that pretty much everyone you know is dealing with some kind of challenge. Here are just a few of the things that my own circle is dealing with, in no particular order…

Marriage difficulties
Grief
Chronic insomnia
Cancer
Loneliness
Debilitating periods
Feeling like a failure
Chronic stress
Parkinson’s disease

The list goes on… !

Right now, as I sit here writing to you, I can’t take away your challenges. I can’t offer you a magic pill to melt away the health problem you might be grappling with, nor can I dampen the grief you might be living with. I can’t magic away your money worries or make your toxic boss disappear in a puff of smoke. I can’t fix your relationship, un-mood your moody teen or do a supernanny on your endlessly tantrumming toddler.

But I CAN do this: I can assure you that we’re all in this together. You’re not alone. And guess what? That means that you don’t have to deal with it all by yourself. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should dump all your problems on everyone you meet, but you ARE allowed to reach out and say;

“Help. I’m fed up. Please can I talk?”

This is what I did when the pressure came to a head last week. I told a couple of friends I trusted – and my mum (of course):

“I’m done with this and I’m bl**dy fed up!”

One listened and acknowledged me – “Yes, this is tough!” she said! And then sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers
One listened and told me she loved me and it would all be alright
One listened and told me I was brilliant
One listened and connected me with a great business contact

And so, aided with a boost from my friends and family, I got on with it. I got on with putting my own sh1t aside and helping my wonderful clients. I got on with marketing my programme for coaches and I got on with building my business.

And I got on with being mum, making soup and sandwiches and washing clothes and buying presents for birthday parties and taxi-ing and reading bedtime stories!

Just as YOU get on with it. Because you simply have to, don’t you? And you will get through it, because you’re even stronger than you think and even smarter than you give yourself credit for.

However, YOU TOO are allowed to let down your guard and reach out. Because we all need to be heard and perhaps even have a good cry. Think of it the way a tropical thunderstorm clears the air and lifts the oppression of a hot and humid day. Talking it out – and being listened to – will help you to reset.

Talking won’t magically resolve everything and it won’t mean that things will immediately get better. But it will release the pressure and top up your reserves, so that you can face the next day with renewed vigour and possibly even a little bit more perspective.

We’re all grown ups and we have to get on with life with all its ups and downs. But we don’t have to do it alone. So my message to you this week is simple..

Reach out, talk it out … and then get on with it!

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If you enjoyed this post please consider sharing, you may also enjoy Once in a While, You Just Want to be Heard

This week, our guest post is from Julie Dennis. Julie will also be running a masterclass for The Academy for Talented Women on managing menopause in the workplace. Read how you can join us at the end of the post.

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In a recent study nearly 50% of the women interviewed felt menopause symptoms had a negative impact on their performance at work. Is that you?

The most common symptoms were poor concentration, tiredness and poor memory.

And surprise surprise hot flushes were cited as a major source of distress for women at work too.

Hot flushes aren’t just uncomfortable, they’re embarrassing, especially when you’re with colleagues.

You know how it is. Mid meeting you suddenly sense that inner spark ignite.

You try to stay focused on what’s being said, maybe casually remove your jacket or put your hair up to get some cool air on the back of your neck.

Perhaps you make a joke about being a woman of a certain age, “is it hot in here or is it just me ha ha?”

Except it’s not funny is it? It’s humiliating.

The good news is it doesn’t have to be that way. You really can learn about managing menopause in the workplace. The secret lies in managing your cortisol levels.

High levels of cortisol, your main stress hormone, is the most common hormone imbalance in women over the age of 40.

Your body is designed to release cortisol when your mind perceives you to be in a stressful situation. It’s part of your fight or flight response.

Your adrenal glands pump out cortisol to give you the energy to either flee or stand and fight. This ancient response was originally designed to help you deal with the stress of a life or death situation. Perhaps a confrontation with a neighbouring tribe or an attack by a dangerous animal.

Modern day stresses of course are very different. They’re made up of certain foods, types of drink, poorly worded emails, traffic jams, toxins and even your working environment.

Menopause itself is a form of stress on your body.

But here’s the thing, the same stress response still gets triggered today even though the danger isn’t actually life threatening.

And stress in the 21st century workplace is unrelenting. So instead of cortisol being produced when you actually need it, your body starts to produce it all the time.

So what’s stressing you out? What are you eating, drinking or experiencing during your working day that’s triggering your fight or flight response, increasing your cortisol levels and making your menopause symptoms worse?

Once you know what your triggers are you can work on managing or eliminating that trigger and you really can cool down, calm down, breakthrough the brain fog and stay on track with your career.

You see, whilst you can’t avoid stress in the 21st century what you can do is learn how to manage it, through the way you eat and drink, the way you exercise, your menopause mindset and by reducing your exposure to toxins.

Julie will be running a virtual seminar on managing menopause in the workplace for my Academy for Talented Women Members on Wednesday 12 October. She will also share a simple but effective framework for you to follow so you can talk to your boss about how your symptoms are affecting your ability to do you job without damaging your career.

If you’d like access to the webinar – both live and recorded version, to watch, listen or download whenever you want, click here to read all the other benefits and join the Academy now.

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What is The Academy for Talented Women?

Imagine a virtual “gym”, but a gym where, instead of working on your fitness, you work on your mindset, your skill set and your life!  Now imagine you don’t have to travel to that gym and you can access it from anywhere in the World – on your computer, your tablet or your phone.

Imagine that, instead of signing up for a Zumba or a Spinning Class, you could go to a class on, for example..

• How to Declutter Your Home
• How to Deal with Conflict at Work
• How to Boost Your Energy When You Have No Time
• How to be Incredibly Confident at Work

or even…

• How Not to Divorce Your Husband (YES! We do have that class!)

And let’s say you could sign up to do that class at the time it’s scheduled. But if you missed it, it wouldn’t matter, because you could simply do the class by yourself, at any time of the day or night to suit YOUR schedule!

The Academy for Talented Women has been created and built by me, Amanda Alexander. And I created it from having coached hundreds of working mums over many years.  I know that, for a woman to be successful, there are many elements of her life that have to work – and they have to work in harmony.  That’s why I built The Academy is around 3 pillars of a working woman’s life:

– Your Career
– Your Life
– You

Would you like to coached, but it’s too expensive?

I believe that getting coaching with a GOOD Coach is an invaluable investment in your career and your life. It certainly changed my life for the better when I first worked with a Coach back in 2002! But what if funds simply won’t stretch to your own Coach? I get that – even if you’re earning a good salary, after food is paid for, kids’ activities are paid for, the phone bill, the council tax bill and the boiler you’ve just had to replace.. you quite understandably might see coaching as a luxury that you literally can’t afford.

But what if you COULD get access to a GOOD Coach without the usual price tag? In fact, what if you could access not just a GOOD Coach but a multi-award winning, highly experienced Coach who was accredited as Professional Certified Coach with the ICF? That’ll be me then! (You can read more about me here).

That’s why I included a monthly “drop in” coaching call” within The Academy membership. It’s usually held during “lunch hour” from 12.30 to 1.30 pm BST, with the odd evening call at 8.30 pm BST.  But if you can’t make it to the call, you still get to ask a question beforehand.

The idea of the coaching calls is – if you’re stuck, you need an idea, motivation or inspiration, I’m here for you.

Precious Little Time for Personal Development or Investing in Yourself?

The Academy has also been created to allow you to access learning, development and support when it suits YOU.  I understand how busy you are – so am I!  I understand that, for you to invest in yourself and your career, you are probably going to do so in pockets of time, often whilst multi-tasking. So do I!

That’s why I created an online members’ area with all the Academy’s fantastic masterclasses, coaching sessions and online life coaching course under one roof!

For me, it’s about the right kind of support

None of us can do it alone. Whether your goal is to change your career, get a promotion or even leave your career and go it alone, you need support. Or maybe you’re just struggling to keep up with the fast pace of life – you need support (and practical strategies).  You need someone who can be your cheerleader when the going gets tough, who can be your advisor when you’re stuck and who can hold up a mirror to  show you how capable you really are, when you have lost sight of the fact.

I created The Academy for Talented Women to give you the support you need in order to be successful. Whether it’s in our warm and friendly private Facebook group, in our monthly coaching calls or even at our annual “Stepping Up” live event (yes, you even get a live event!),  The Academy for Talented Women is all about providing you with the right kind of support you need to be successful, fulfilled and balanced.
How do you join?

You pay a monthly subscription via PayPal or your credit card. You can leave at any time. There is no “minimum contract”. There are NO catches.  You can get the full details about The Academy and join here. 
I look forward to supporting you!

 

The “bedtime story”: An unfortunate series of time drains

My friend Chris says it’s because I have a lot of fire energy…

But for whatever reason, I seem to have been plagued with more than my fair share of technical failures recently.

In the past two months alone I have faced hard disk failure TWICE, keyboard failure and now, the latest technical misadventure is that my brand new Apple MacBook has developed a mysterious, intermittent fault with the space bar.

Always looking for ways of logistically maximising my time, yesterday I decided I could fit in an appointment to get this issue fixed after a meeting in London.

After my meeting in South East London, I headed to the West End to the nearest Apple store – Regent Street.

The underground line that should have taken me directly there broke down and a 30-minute journey turned into a one-hour journey.

I finally arrived at Piccadilly and discovered the Regent Street Store was closed for refurbishment. So I identified the next nearest store, Convent Garden, and started walking there. I got lost – because that’s how I roll – so the half mile walk became 1 mile.

I arrived at the Apple Store and booked my appointment. Despite having a business service plan for technical support, which is supposed to guarantee me an appointment within 15 minutes of requesting it, the Convent Garden store was so overwhelmed with people that the guarantee failed to deliver.

I waited as long as I could, eventually giving up as my time ran out: I had a train to catch home.

The naughty space bar magically started working on the train home – hence me writing to you now – but I’m sitting on a time bomb until the problem re-occurs. So after writing this, I will have to drive to my nearest Apple store – a two-hour round trip.

I am not holding my breath for an instant fix when I get there. The riveting saga of the dodgy space bar, will, no doubt, be continued…

Sh1t happens… for all of us

You might be thinking of a similar experience you’ve had: Something “small” goes wrong in your life and the solution never turns out to be quite as simple or as quick as you’d hoped.

This kind of “spanner in the works” inevitably happens when you’re busy, when you’ve got an important and urgent deadline; when you really cannot afford the time.

Let’s face it: Sh1t happens.

It seems that life conspires to see how much more nonsense you can take. And the less time you have, the more time the issue will take. It’s almost as if there might be an additional Newtonian Law we haven’t yet proven: For every problem, the amount of time it takes to resolve is in inverse proportion to the time available.

Not so long ago, this series of time drains would have made me into a foul, angry, bad-tempered, slightly unhinged, highly stressed harpy. My knickers would have been in a right old twist.

However, I have *mostly* kept smiling…

Amanda, are you on drugs?

I believe that there is ONE thing that has made a HUGE difference to me being a less stressed out woman. Whilst I’m certainly not sitting here with a beatific smile on my face, a halo over my head and a zen-like aura of calm, I AM taking most of this in my stride.

For example:

• I was able to be philosophical about the train that broke down, doubling my journey length.
• I was able to laugh at myself and appreciate the extra walk after getting lost even WITH the aid of Google Maps.
• I refrained from taking out my annoyance on the guy in the Apple store because the service I’m paying for failed to deliver
• Whilst the LAST place I want to be today is in a large, windowless shopping centre trying to get the problem fixed, I’m looking forward to borrowing the bloke’s car (decent acceleration) to drive there: Silver lining!
• And I’m very aware of how LUCKY I am to have a problem like this : First world problem, innit?!

So what has made me calm and philosophical about a frustrating series of time drains?

And do *you* want some of what I’ve been taking? 🙂

Drum Roll Please…The best thing ever for stressed out women is…

No, it’s NOT drugs. Or Prossecco. It’s not even coffee.
And no, it’s not regular……………exercise.

The one thing that is the best thing ever for stressed out women is **meditation** – also known as mindfulness. I’ve been practicing meditation reasonably regularly for about 2 ½ years.

In the past couple of months, I resolved to make my meditation practice the ONE SINGLE HABIT that I do, without fail, on a daily basis.

And I’m convinced that it’s changing my brain for the better!

What if this could help YOU to cope better?

If a barmy, fiery, electrical-breaking disaster-zoned fruitcake like me is able to remain calm(er), then how might meditation help YOU?

• What if this made you less critical of yourself and more accepting?
• What if this helped you to shout less at your kids and feel like a better mum?
• What if this helped you to remember more and forget less? And let’s face it, you have a lot to remember!
• What if this helped you not to take a snide comment from a co-worker to heart and you were able to shrug it off more easily?
• What if this helped you not to wake up at 3am worrying about your project deadline?
• What if this simply helped you to roll with the punches more?

The Scientific Proof That This Works

The Washington Post published a fascinating article last year showing how meditation not only reduces stress, but also changes your brain. A neuroscientist from Harvard conducted brain scans demonstrating the changes that meditation makes to many areas of the human brain.

Long term meditators have increased amount of grey matter in the insula and sensory regions, the auditory and sensory cortex, the frontal cortex and the prefrontal cortex.

None of which will mean much to you unless you’re a neuroscientist! However, what all this does mean is that meditation can improve your memory, your sense of equanimity, your sense of perspective and your ability to empathise, to name but a few.

And as for the impact that meditation might have on your stress levels: The area of the brain associated with stress – the amygdala, responsible for our fight or flight response – got smaller for the people in the group who went through an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction programme.

You can read the whole article here.

“But Amanda.. I don’t have time to meditate”

Wrong, rubbish, incorrect! If I have time, so do you!

We carve out time for the things we value. If you think you don’t have time to meditate, it’s because you don’t value it.

The tricky thing is, you won’t value it until you experience the benefits. And you won’t experience the benefits if you don’t carve out the time on a daily basis and do it for several months. Bit of a catch 22, isn’t it? I completely understand that, as it’s taken me years to get to the stage of committing to meditate on a daily basis.

Which is why I’m writing to you about it today. I’m hoping to convince you.

If you read the Washington Post article, you might think that you need to find a meditation teacher and carve out 40 minutes a day. This is not my experience. I meditate for 15 minutes a day. When I’m really pressed for time, I reduce that to 10 minutes.

And as this Buddhist Monk will tell you in a 90 second You Tube video, you can spend just a minute meditating and still experience benefits.

Here’s how I make time to meditate…

And the only way I can possibly keep the promise to myself to meditate on a daily basis is by doing it first thing, before I get up. Before coffee, before kids, before anything!

The difference is that I’ve set my alarm 15 minutes earlier and I committed to myself. This happens, no matter what.

I open the blinds, sit up in bed, grab my phone and open an app. The one I use is called “Get Some Headspace” and I pay a subscription for it. However, you don’t have to pay for an app. Try a few of the apps for free or type in “10 minute mindfulness” into YouTube. You’ll find plenty of free lessons.

A Baby Step Challenge to help you get started

Tomorrow is the start of a new month, the perfect time to start a challenge.
Baby steps are always the best way to create positive new habits. So here’s my simple and gentle challenge for you:

1. Set your alarm 5 minutes earlier.
2. Sit up in bed
3. Set a timer for 5 minutes
4. Close your eyes
5. Put your hands on your belly and focus on your breathing for 5 minutes.
6. Try saying “in” as you breathe in and “out” as you breathe out.
7. Do it for 7 days straight, no matter what. Commit to it.

If you find this easy, try 10 minutes for the next 7 days.

Meditation doesn’t have to be hard – don’t overthink it and don’t worry if your mind wanders. All you need to do is gently bring yourself back to focusing on your breathing.

Let me know how you get on, and please share this post with all the busy, juggling stressed out women (and men) you know. It might just inspire them to give it a try.

And now, I’ll leave you, as – guess what? My space bar has started missing a beat again!

It’s off to the Apple Store for me…with an ever so slightly beatific smile on my face. 🙂

On Thursday, 15th September I attended the Women in Business and Leadership Round Table at the House of Lords, chaired by the Rt. Hon Baroness Warsi PC. The event was one of a series of Round Table discussions.

Women have a significant contribution to make in leading cultural change and driving a model of collaborative leadership. The Round Table event focused on the key qualities of leadership, strategies to increase diversity in businesses and harnessing technology to support a blended work life balance for all.

The panel members  were Clare Barclay General Manager SMS&P, Microsoft UK, Griselda Tobogo Managing Director Forward Ladies, James Cliffe Head of Business Banking UK HSBC Commercial Banking, Margaret Totten, Managing Director, IA Cubed (IA3) and James Maunder, Director of Information and Digital Services, Institute of Directors.

Here are my own “top 20” gems of wisdom, wit and wonderment that I drew from the discussion on women in leadership: 

1. We very quickly limit ourselves because of what other people tell us what we should be doing, particularly when we are children (you have to ignore this!)

2. Bring your emotional intelligence to work, not your emotions to work

3. Don’t underestimate the power of a sponsor in your career. A sponsor who has identified you as emerging talent can be highly influential in you securing your new role.

4. Don’t just focus on getting female representation on interview shortlists. Invite women on the interview shortlist panels, as well. We all have unconscious bias and this gets injected into the recruitment process. This is why you need women in the interviewing loop.

5. You can’t bridge the achievement gap if you don’t bridge the ambition gap. As a leader, you need to nurture – create – the ambition in emerging female leaders

6. Females have no fewer aspirations than males, but they do tend to have less confidence.

7. However… young men share similar anxieties to young women. But they usually cover it up with bravado.

8. But generally, men ask for pay rises. Women don’t. BIG CLUE to the gender pay gap!

9. How do leaders juggle work with family? There’s no panacea.. There are no more hours in the day when you’re more senior! You simply get better at figuring it out!

10. Have the courage to be yourself, but also build on other people’s experiences.

11. We will have progressed a long way with gender equality when we STOP treating women having babies as an exceptional event.

12. The only way we’re really going to crack the work-life balance nut is by leaders REALLY walking the talk.

Lead by example: Work from home one day a week, for instance. By doing this, you give the best kind of permission to your team to do the same.

13. Here’s a novel idea to actively lead from the top with work-life blend and employee well-being. Tried, tested and achieved 100% success when implemented by one of our panelists for his staff: Tell your staff that they will score poorly on their performance evaluation if they haven’t booked annual leave by the next review meeting!

14. Bring your whole self to work, not just your half self – i.e. you with your work hat on. Let your colleagues get to know who YOU are (see point 10 … it’s all about true authenticity, not pseudo authenticity!)

15. Work is an activity, not a place. Think about this one in the context of agile working and work life balance/blend!

16. There is an urgent need for the UK government to review the support (or lack of) for self-employed women when they have a baby.

17. Ultimately, women have to take control of their own career – nobody is going to do it for them.

18. We need to start asking ourselves WHY we’re not asking men the same kind of questions as we ask women, such as: “How do you balance work with family?”

19. On asking a group of school children the question: “What do you want to be when you’re grown up?” the no. 1 answer for boys was: “Footballer”.

Depressing.

The no. 1 answer for girls was:

“Footballer’s wife”

Infinitely more depressing.

Moral of this story: We have a lot of work to do!

20. And finally, albeit somewhat in contradiction to point 19.. “The next generation will be much better at this than we are!”

Here’s hoping! 🙂

via GIPHY

High self-esteem is crucial to our success, equanimity and overall sense of happiness. If we want to feel happy and in control of our own life, it is essential that we nurture our self-esteem.

What the heck has low self-esteem got to do with Ripley’s Alien Mother Creature?

With low self-esteem, we filter our view of the World through our own distorted low opinion of ourselves. Low self-esteem is like the big bad mother of self-belief issues. She spawns lots of other baby limiting beliefs. And they in turn grow into monsters that are extremely difficult to slay – just ask Sigourney Weaver if you don’t believe me.

Do you suffer from low self-esteem?

Do you ever call yourself stupid or put yourself down? Do you frequently compare yourself to others and find yourself lacking? Do you worry that other people might not like you?

These are all indications of low self-esteem. But that’s ok – we’re not labelling you here!
You don’t have low self-esteem ALL the time. You only have it in those moments when you’re having those negative thoughts about yourself.

We generally expect people with low self-esteem to appear quiet, reserved: If you’ve ever met someone who finds it difficult to look you in the eye for example, you might suspect that they have low self-esteem. Not necessarily so.

I sometimes put myself down. Occasionally I compare myself with others and I have been known to fret about what other people might think. I never considered myself to have low self-esteem. I’m the sort of person who people view as confident, gregarious, happy and fairly well balanced.

Outward impression is not necessarily a reflection of what’s going on inside. And more importantly, self-esteem is not a fixed part of anyone.

Does low self-esteem come from a traumatic childhood?

Another thing we think we know about self-esteem: Doesn’t low self-esteem come from growing up in a family in which you are put down or belittled? Isn’t it common in victims of abuse? Well, yes – and no!

Dr. Rob Kelly, author of “Thrive” says that the link between childhood experiences and levels of self-esteem is not always to blame:

“People with a negatively distorted sense of self do not, however, need to have been regularly put down or abused by others during childhood….many people that I have treated with self-esteem issue have come from loving, caring families and it is largely their own self-criticism that has caused them to build such limiting beliefs about themselves.”

What IS self-esteem anyway?

Let’s take a quick look at the various synonyms for the word “esteem”:

Deem, judge, rate, respect, admire, value, regard, approve of, appreciate, like

When we add “self” to the word esteem, then we can start to get a feel for what self-esteem is:

Your level of self-esteem is a measure of:

• How you rate yourself
• How much you value yourself
• How much you like yourself
• How much you appreciate yourself
• How you judge yourself

In short, self-esteem is simply how you see yourself. If I asked you to tell me what sort of person you are, you might tell me that you are outgoing or shy; that you are hard-working or laid back; that you are a good friend or a conscientious person.

Essentially, you’d be responding with your beliefs about yourself. We all form beliefs about ourselves – who we are, what we like, what we dislike. They are not facts, they are simply beliefs that we have formed over years.

Your fluctuating self-esteem battery

Self-esteem is not real; it is simply your present evaluation of yourself – a set of beliefs. Sometimes you might evaluate yourself highly, sometimes less so.

Kelly tells his patients to imagine that they are keeping a mental score card of negative and positive thoughts. Each time they have a negative or critical thought it is recorded and each time they have a pleasant, validating thought, this is also recorded.

These positive and negative thoughts reflect the charge of your metaphorical “self-esteem battery”. So if, you have 70% negative thoughts in a day and only 30% positive thoughts, then your self-esteem battery is only 30% charged.

The effect of sh1t tinted spectacles

Kelly uses the evocative analogy of seeing yourself through “sh1t-tinted spectacles”. Here are a few examples of how those sh1t-tinted spectacles can distort your view:

• You look in the mirror and say “God, I look haggard”
• You have a day when you get 5 pieces of good feedback from people and 1 piece of criticism. You focus on the criticism
• A business connection you ‘phoned yesterday does not return your call and you create a reason in your mind that is all about you

Our human brain is a crafty thing. We create a belief and our brain immediately starts seeking evidence to back up that belief. We dismiss any evidence that proves this belief to be untrue – we want to prove ourselves right.

We see what we want to see – even though it doesn’t serve us, support us or make us feel good.

The secret sauce is in the PROCESSING

The trick in increasing your self-esteem is simply to increase the positive charge in that self-esteem battery I mentioned above: Change the positive/negative ratio of thoughts. Generate more positive thoughts and create higher self-esteem! And you can do that by processing your thoughts in a different way.

Kelly says that:

“processing is what takes place when your experience becomes a memory.”

Your memory is not reality – it is a construct made up of your belief systems, your unhelpful thinking patterns and your metaphorical spectacles – and how you decide to tint those spectacles.

In order to increase your self-esteem, all you need to do is switch your specs to a pair that are rose-tinted, rather than sh1t-tinted!

Here’s how:

Coach Yourself: The simple habit that will increase your self-esteem

Time to coach yourself: This is what I’d like you to do:

1. Give yourself the gift of 15-20 minutes of journaling time within the next 24 hours. Set a timer and create a positive hit list and write down as many positive things from your day. Be as creative and as flexible as you want with your list. The only “rule” is that you reflect on the positive things from your day, even if it wasn’t a stellar day! For this exercise, please also reflect on why each item is in your hit list. Why did it make you feel good? What positive thing did it reflect about YOU?

2. Set yourself a reminder at the end of each day to do a mental positive hit list at the end of each day. It’s a great habit to get into both for your self-esteem AND for a good night’s sleep: In a mindfulness sleep meditation, one of the first parts of the meditation is mentally running through your day from waking to getting into bed.

These “positive hits” can be:

• Moments of pleasure
• Things that made you smile
• Moments of pride in yourself or those you love
• Achievements – large or small
• Challenges you overcame
• Things that made you feel grateful
• Acts of kindness that you received
• Acts of kindness that you gave

To help you get the idea of what to write – and to demonstrate that I walk my talk! – here’s one I did earlier! This is my positive hit list exercise from Wednesday this week.

It wasn’t an easy day: I spent most of the day responding to my own mini business crisis – my broadband network failed and I was left with no connection to the Internet whatsoever. This meant I lost a lot of working time and had a couple of sticky situations to get round. Despite this, when you read my positive hit list, you’ll see that, even on a day that could be described as a “nightmare”, there were many positives:

1. Meditated first thing in the morning. Felt proud of myself as it’s an important habit, but it’s one that I have to push myself to do still.
2. Watched the mists rolling off the top of the hill and knew it would be a hot day. The sunshine always makes me feel happy.
3. Took Ernie for a walk in the forest and enjoyed the sunshine, peace and stunning views
4. Met a man in the forest who gave me a wonderful smile, engaged with me and wished me a wonderful day. It made me think how great it is when people connect and how lucky I am for such simple pleasures
5. Emailed parents of Duke of Edinburgh award participants to organise gifts for the D of E leaders. It would have been much easier not to as it will take time and thought, but it is important for me to acknowledge people.
6. Did some writing sitting on the balcony in the sun. Felt grateful for the autonomy and flexibility of my business
7. Responded creatively and calmly to challenge of running important client webinar after broadband developed a fault and I was left with no Internet signal. This shows that every day in every way I’m getting more and more resilient – rolling with the everyday blips of life and taking it (more or less) in my stride
8. Spoke to my friend Penny Pullan who logged into my business email system and sent an email to my clients about alternative conference line. Always love speaking to Penny and feel grateful to have a friend who I know will help me out in this kind of situation and who knows what to do!
9. Had a great conversation with Amanda Davie about coaching and EQ. Love talking to Amanda as she’s so bright, on my wavelength and she gets it!
10. No. 1 son helped me to clear away dinner dishes without me even asking. Wow! All those years of me feeling like a broken record are finally paying off!
11. No. 1 son ALSO mowed the lawn without moaning when asked. As above!
12. Bedtime story reading to Fred and friend’s daughter who stayed over. Really cherish reading a book to Fred and thankful for it as it won’t be long until he won’t want me to read to him.
13. Negotiated better deal on mobile phone contract and felt pleased with myself. I’ve also got extra contingency data
14. Upgraded mobile data contract to ensure better contingency next time there is a problem with broadband at home. I’ve really thought about mitigating a major risk in my business.
15. Spoke to John and Mum on the phone when I felt exhausted and fed up. Feel immensely grateful for these 2 big “rocks” in my life who always listen and always have wise words.
16. Was able to say “yes” to a friend dropping her daughter round and was also able to offer for her to sleepover. How great to be able to do this for a friend who helps me out so often.

If you do these 2 exercises – the written one to start and then follow up simply by creating a habit of ending your day with a positive mental hit list, you’ll quickly reap the benefits in more consistently high self-esteem.

And as you embed this new positive habit, you’ll find you naturally notice more of your own achievements, making it easier the more you do it!

You’ll have that Alien self-esteem mother monster slayed in no time!

Leadership ain’t what it used to be! And the challenges of a business leader in a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) World aren’t those that you read in your job specification!

Never more so in industry have people needed to feel safe and to have a sense of belonging. Our brains are on full alert throughout most of our working week (if not our weekends as we struggle to find a good work/life balance). We vacillate from fight, flight, freeze, and survive to inertia mode. Of course it’s not all bad – we sometimes thrive along the way too. And, if we’re smart leaders, we check into recovery on a regular basis and have a self-actualization strategy to prevent anxiety and burnout.

With the Internet technology revolution and cyclical economic recessions human capital struggles to keep up. Child and business psychologists observe that empathy, the glue that binds us, is on the decline. Teams are working less well together. Leaders aren’t leading with emotional competence. And people are walking out of the workplace in swathes to become self-employed, because they won’t subscribe to the old ways of being managed.

Enter the emotionally intelligent business leader.Continue reading

In episode 004 of the Inspiring Women Interviews podcast, Emma McGuigan, Senior Managing Director Technology, Accenture UK and Ireland shared some of her “secrets of success” for to help you to build a successful career whilst balancing it with life and family.

I’ve summarised my 15 favourites from my interview with Emma in this post. Enjoy – and let me know which one is the most useful to YOU right now in the comments section below the post.

1. Don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go right. Draw a line in the sand and move on.
2. Decide what’s important to YOU and focus on those things. Let go of what’s NOT important to you.
3. What is YOUR “set in stone” for managing your work-life balance? For Emma, it’s having one meal a day with her family. Choose yours and do it!
4. Your life will continuously evolve. Treat your life an old fashioned radio that continually needs fine-tuning. Be gentle with yourself – guilt is useless.
5. How do you reflect on how you are spending your time each day? What works for you? For Emma it is running. Find the thing that helps you to reflect on each day so that you are spending your time on the things that are important.
6. Never feel guilty and never live with regrets. Instead, decide what you will do differently next time.
7. Positive energy comes from always looking for the learning, not dwelling on the things that didn’t work out and keeping yourself moving forward.
8. Don’t place limitations on yourself: STOP saying ‘I can’t do this because…’ and look for a reason you can!
9. Measure your success by the outcomes you want, rather than the number of hours you sit behind a desk or spend replying to emails.
10. At the start of your day, ask yourself what you’re going to focus on that day and whether that’s the best use of your time in relation to your current priorities.
11. Keep asking for feedback. If for example, if you have just chaired a meeting but you’re not sure how you performed, ask others what they thought and what they would’ve done differently. Just ask!
12. You can’t go through life beating yourself up about things you didn’t do, just celebrate the things you did.
13. Avoid being a victim. When something happens that feels “unfair”, turn that feeling of injustice into something that empowers you. What do you want to happen? Use the “bad” situation to create your own “good” situation.
14. Remember that NOBODY cares more about your career than you. If you expect someone else to tell you what you should do next, you could be waiting a very long time! OWN your career management.
15. You only get one chance at your life, so make sure you grab every opportunity that comes along – and grab them fast! Get into the habit of going for it rather than deliberating. Give it a go and if it doesn’t work out, try something else!

You’ll get more of Emma’s tips and you’ll benefit from the full impact of the summary above by listening to the interview on the Inspiring Women Interviews Podcast.  If you enjoy the show, I would be so grateful if you could leave feedback over on ITunes or Stitcher and share it with your own connections.  By doing this, you will help to get the podcast to more women and inspire them to be the best they can!